Everyone talks about straight pack weight. I was just reading a new thread under this one. People were actually arguing about it (though politely). The old, "this is my lower pack weight" and "my pack weight is heavier and I'm more comfortable" - you know. After I did a little "I'm so better than you" eye roll, I decided that a little math was in order. I put my considerable intelect to work.

Let's say you think you have a UL pack weight. I'm talking total pack weight, not base (and not skin out). Let's say your weight is 17 pounds with 4 days of food and 2 liters of water.

Sounds good, right? Now let's say you're an 52 pound 8 year old girl. That pack weight sucks.

On the other hand...let's say your pack weight for the same trip, with the same water is 35 pounds. Reasonable by some standards, heavy by others. But what if you're a 225 pound running back? That 35 pounds probably feels the same to you as a 7 pound pack to that 8 year old girl.

But what about us fatties?

Put your mind to rest. Here is the New Ultimate Pack Weight Comparison Standardization Guide, or the NUPWCSG (trademark pending).

You'll need a little data to begin.

First, you'll need some inexpensive body fat calipers and the chart that comes with them. The instructions are there, but basically, you'll grab a hunk of your "insulating layer" around your occipital bone and measure it with the caliper. You'll take that measurement, compare it to the chart and SHAZZAM! that's your estimated body fat percent.

Next, you'll have to actually weigh your pack. See other posts for instructions on this. And yes, there are some posts that describe this.

Finally, you'll need to weigh yourself - in the nude. This is the fun part. Make a game out of it!

Now you're armed with the necessary data to get your NUPWCSG rating.

Fill in the formula:

Step 1 - Nude Weight x Body Fat % = Weight of Body Blubber
Step 2 - Nude Weight - Weight of Body Blubber = Close To What Your Doctor Wants You To Weigh or Close To What You'll Weigh After Your Thru
Step 3 - Pack Weight /(that's divided by) Close To What Your Doctor Wants You To Weigh or Close To What You'll Weigh After Your Thru

Now you have a percentage (or will after you move that dot that's between the zero and first number on your calculator over two place to the right).

Follow this handy guide to see if your pack weight is good for you!

1% to 7% - You're a Super Duper Ultra Light backpacker who probably has a bad back from that paper thin pad. You like cold food and eat 4 peanuts a day. Aqua Mira weighs too much.
8% to 15% - You're an Ultra Light backpacker who probably uses a hammock. You're very smart. I like you. A lot.
16% to 25% - You think you're an Ultra Light backpacker, but probably have to defend that Jetboil kitchen from time to time.
26% to 35% - You should take a hiking partner with you and pawn off some of your gear on (most likely) him.
Over 36% - You don't really need the chair, or you need to eat a side of beef once a week to prep for your upcoming thru.

That's it! So please, from now on, don't just tell us your pack weight is this or your pack weight is that, it's not helpful. Tell us your percentage on the NUPWCSG. Give us a 14% and we'll be in envy. Tell us 27% and we'll know you're not really comfortable, even though you say you are.

Good day.