The unwritten gentleman's rule

[woodguy]

I agree 100%

[pickNgrin]

Quite simply-
Any female encountered in the woods is your Sister, Aunt, or Grandmother depending upon whatever category suits you best. Regardless of relation any lady encountered is treated as such. You'll note that all of these familial categories are non-sexual.

That is an excellent rule, but there needs to be an extra provision for the portion of the trail that passes through West Virginia.

[NY HIKER 50]

I did not read all the responses but I really have to get involved in this. Are you people kidding. Since when would a woman make advances to a complete stranger? One that stinks no less. Talk about your childhood fantasies! THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN. I just treat 'em like anyone else, hello, the trail was hard today, good night and head for the ol' stealth site. and we will never see each other again.

[misprof]

Well said Sierra, A woman should not be put in a place of fear. We go to the woods to hike not to be preyed upon. I will say that in all the sections that I have done I have only met one man that made me leery, everyone else has been gentlemen.

[JBandStacy2014]

The unwritten rule and taboo threads are nifty- but one got missed and I'm not sure where it fits.

On the AT, and really any outdoors adventure there is a general gentleman's agreement held by all in my experience. It always seemed to be common knowledge to me but I suppose falls into the unwritten rule category.

Quite simply-
Any female encountered in the woods is your Sister, Aunt, or Grandmother depending upon whatever category suits you best. Regardless of relation any lady encountered is treated as such.

You'll note that all of these familial categories are non-sexual. If it turns out that you are not legally related and the woman in question quite clearly makes her amerous intentions clear that's one thing, but in all other situations treat any woman encountered as off limits.

My understanding was that besides simple gentlemanly behaviour, a concerted effort was made to welcome, and therefore increase the female population on the trail to the benifit of all by being excessively polite, kind, and if not outright brotherly, at least neutral on the subject.

Sexist? perhaps-
The rule is not meant to coddle the ladies, mainly to spare them the "ravenous glare" of men who spend a long time without female companionship and lovelorn hikers hoping to find love on the trail from swarming any prospects. It was a general agreement to keep it friendly and welcoming.

The right thing to do? I always thought so.

In recent years though the female population has increased, and while I still firmly believe in this attitude and behavior, I wonder how others feel and if this attitude still exists?

I firmly agree that a woman can handle her self, but why should she have to handle her fellow hikers on top of handling the hike?

I ask because that question comes up, and I wonder if it's because the unwritten gentleman's rule should be unwritten no longer.

100% disagree. I think just like in regular society, people will either attract others or they won't. Ladies will turn down unwanted advances just like in regular society. BTW: What about when women flirt with men? Should there be a "lady's rule"? Also, what about this one? My lady LIKES women...lol...should she not flirt when she feels like it? We all know how to act respectful even when flirting. The ones that don't will weed themselves out. I don't think we need to picture them as our grandmothers in order to be respectful. But hey, that's just my opinion. Common Sense will prevail in most cases.

[Ladyofthewoods]

This thread completely explains why the book 'Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus' was so popular. The earlier post about common respect was 100% correct. Sierra...your initial comments about enjoying being treated special because you are a woman for me is complete silliness on the trail. Yes, in my 'real' life, my husband who is a true Southern gentlemen treats me with those niceties. However, on the trail, I take care of myself. I don't expect a man to carry anything for me, but do need a bit more privacy than a fellow male hike. Being old-school, I do not appreciate crude language anywhere!

[Sublime]

Ditto.........

I gota agree with Bill on this one. I do my best to treat everyone with equal respect. I have seen the swarms of mostly young guys in the bubble, when there is a female hiker or two in the area and how uncomfortable it can be for some females. Then again, I have seen the girls eat it up, and that is ok too. I'm just an old fart out for a long walk. If you need something, I will help you out as much as I can, It doesn't matter to me who or what you are. If you would rather just nod on your way by, I'm good with that as well.

It's just the way I live MY life.

[Traveler]

That this conversation even exists demonstrates we have not evolved very far as a species....

[Whichway]

Thank you for understanding. As a solo lady hiker I never met a 'fellow' hiker who was anything but polite. And no, it is not sexist. I felt safer walking on the trail than I do walking to my apartment. I applaud the gentlemen of the trail! Whichway

[Old Grouse]

That this conversation even exists demonstrates we have not evolved very far as a species....

And yet, isn't it better to have the conversation than to sit silent?

[Traveler]

And yet, isn't it better to have the conversation than to sit silent?

Absolutely, evolution depends on the prepared to educate or eliminate the unprepared.

[Eagle1979]

So what you are saying there Bill is that we shouldn't work up an ol' Number 6?

[thecyclops]

So what you are saying there Bill is that we shouldn't work up an ol' Number 6?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlaUVFxN4SU

[influenza54]

Is there anyone out there that's willing to read a post this long?

Yeah I read it all. It was quite good. but also terrifying . . .

[Just Bill]

So what you are saying there Bill is that we shouldn't work up an ol' Number 6?

Different issue- town is not the trail. And generally townfolk are fair game by my rules.
Although sounds like the Palmerton Hostel got a bit fed up with the ol number six.

[rocketsocks]

Yeah that's to bad, that was a sweet gig for many, and for a long time...a gift horse.

[Creek]

that is an excellent rule, but there needs to be an extra provision for the portion of the trail that passes through west virginia.

rotflmao.......

[nsherry61]

I'm no gentleman! I grew up with sisters. One of my older ones used to think bullying me was appropriate until I was big enough to defend myself. I never could go along with friends that would "never hit a girl". What sexist BS! If she hit me (yes, as a kid only!) I didn't see why us guys couldn't hit back. I also don't see why a guy should open the door for a woman and not have her return the favor when the opportunity is there.

That all being said, I completely, and strongly, agree with the sentiment of treating women on the trail as sister, mother, grandmother. If there were 10 women to every man on the trail, the issue might be different. But, as a significant minority on the trail, even a small minority of men hitting on the women starts to become overwhelming and unpleasant.

It may also be that if rickb had acted otherwise, his now wife wouldn't have been as interested in him. Dudes, being hard to get is often how you get, and the take-away is one of the most powerful sales techniques every. You don't have to turn down an invitation, but, good golly, given the gender disparity of thru-hikers, be a little different from the masses and give the women some breathing room and encourage the others around you do to the same.

[BubbaGump]

Can I share a story?

[BubbaGump]

You'll be surprised