I have spooked many women over many decades, and a few were even backpackers
. In the last ten years I've taken many backpacking trips and about seven with my GF Little Mitten, and on a few of them she went haywire and got terminally spooked. Here's what I learned:
** Carry everything---her food, her water, her tent, her Thermarest. Why not? You'll be carrying 75 lbs anyway when you decide to go out for a 21 day solo trip w/o resupply, so get used to it.
** Keep the mileage low---between four and seven. YOU may want to go ten or twelve, she won't.
** Use separate tents or separate shelters---this is vital. Let her have her own space to read with her nice new headlamp, just set up camp for her and point her towards the lodge. Everybody needs their own space. She needs to get away from our snoring, and we need to toss and turn all night w/o waking her up. I like to get up at three in the morning and slap on the radio headphones.
** FOOD IS VITAL---but this is not so easy as it's hard to find cooked foods which will TRULY INSPIRE her appetite. It's a crap shoot, just take what you think she'll like cooked (don't worry about the snacks---she'll come with them on her own). Coffee in the morning? Better haul it.
** Consider taking CRAP you would never haul yourself---like a backpacking chair or interesting gardening magazines or whatever.
** Overdose on the beefy Thermarest---this is no place to shave off the ounces. If you want her happy, carry the biggest Thermarest you can find---Little Mitten likes her large Base Camp at nearly three inches thick. In the winter definitely consider the Exped Downmat 9 for her and she WILL NOT WANT TO COME HOME EVER AGAIN.