Impossible to get her out with you? Sweeten the offer with a B&B afterwards for a night away from the kids.
Just tossing this out there since I was in the same position as your son, being a former Marine and all. When I first got out of the Corps, the absolute LAST thing I wanted to do was put a pack on and hike. It took about 5 years before I had the urge to hike again and another 2 years before I decided to hit the AT.Originally Posted by vamelungeon
Once I got out there and realized that hiking for pleasure was nothing like "humping" in the Marines, it got a lot easier. What we did in the Corps is not hiking, it's a forced march between point A and point B (which is often times point A after a 10+ mile loop). No stops to look at things, playing the slinky game as the front of the column starts, then you have to run to catch up, only to almost stop again as it ripples back and forth along the column....it's not fun. When I first went out, I would just toss on my pack and haul ass to get to where I was stopping for the night. I realized after two hikes in the same area that I hadn't really seen anything as I was just concerned with getting to point B.
So, bring 'em out there, don't set any pace, let him just walk along, and if you notice he just has his head down, knocking out the miles, try and help him ease up a bit. It's a hard habit to break.
Pyro - Bringin' the heat! '11 Safety Tribe firestarter
2011 - Springer to Pearisburg
This really does go a long way. Our kids are older now. Hubby and I have the time to do what we want, but he and I still part company when it comes to spending the night on the trail. He hates it. But, he'll do very long day hikes with a B&B or lodge at the end of the day. I finally convinced him to go to Yosemite this year. And yeah, I missed out on some nice backpacking, but wow! Was it sweet to return to room service at the Ahwahnee at the end of the day!
Looking back now, I'll bet you wish you had just gotten yourself a couple of cats instead of all those kids. I've had both, and the cats are a lot less trouble and a lot cheaper.I am a section hiker who has been doin it well before I was blessed with the wife and children. Man oh man, I can't do **** any more. For me to get out on a hike requires an act of congress. It's not like my wife does not understand- we got engaged on the AT at Bear Rocks in PA. I know good things come to those who wait, I read " Zen 24/7", I know having a 2,4, and 5 yr old is hard. But I work hard and am well behaved. JFC.
So this post is part toung and cheek, and part ***. Let it be a lesson to all of you young bucks, kids change everything. I do look to the future of raising little hikers. They can already hike farther than any other kids I know. Life is really good. Just needed to blow off some steam. Hike on friends
litefoot 2000
What will be your legacy
The key word you have used is that you have been "blessed" and you are a blessed man. Both you and your wife have made sacrifices to have your family. My question to you is what will be your legacy. Raising children who got to experience a complete family with mom and dad always there for them for their own personal accomplishments is a noble goal. Preparing them to make a difference in this world, that would be a legacy to be proud of.I am a section hiker who has been doin it well before I was blessed with the wife and children. Man oh man, I can't do **** any more. For me to get out on a hike requires an act of congress. It's not like my wife does not understand- we got engaged on the AT at Bear Rocks in PA. I know good things come to those who wait, I read " Zen 24/7", I know having a 2,4, and 5 yr old is hard. But I work hard and am well behaved. JFC.
So this post is part toung and cheek, and part ***. Let it be a lesson to all of you young bucks, kids change everything. I do look to the future of raising little hikers. They can already hike farther than any other kids I know. Life is really good. Just needed to blow off some steam. Hike on friends
Of course you want to hike as often as possible. But if your hiking were to come between yourself and your wife causing you to divorce and with your new freedom you were even able to thru hike think about what that will do to your children. Sure hiking is a passion to all of us on Whiteblaze and it should be a blessing to be able to satisfy that passion. But you should want your wife and children to be proud of your hiking accomplishments not bitter that you chose hiking over them. So my advice is to find a balance between your hiking passion and the family responsibilities. As others have said you may have to put off most of your ambitions until your children are grown. Many of us have done that already and we have a wife and family that supports what we do. That is priceless.
Talk to your wife. I am sure that you can find a compromise together. As others have said take them on easy hikes where there is a lot of fun. Try to plan a longer hike for yourself a couple of times a year. I assume that you are fairly young so there will be plenty of time to do more hiking in the years to come. Enjoy your family now and strengthen your relationship with your wife.
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As a wife, a mom of three and someone who enjoys her own time let me add to the general consensus of doing something nice for your wife. Your kids are still young, and women have a tendency to lose themselves for a little while after becoming a mom, especially since you have three kids age 5 and under. She's tired. She wants help and she probably gets irritated when you say you want to go hiking/fishing/camping/whatever. I was the same way until my husband began forcing me to go on girls weekends after our youngest came along 11 years ago. When we get a break, we are all the more willing to give you a break. If the honey do list is a mile long, our hair looks like we belong in a commune and we haven't used the bathroom alone in months, then more than likely the minute you suggest you want to go do something ALONE, we freak out. Take up geocaching and start taking the kids to local parks to geocache and 'hike' while giving her a break. It really took me getting away from my family every so often that made me remember what I liked to do and who I was before becoming a mom and made me appreciate my family even more.
Find things that you and your wife can do together again, with or without kids. We always fished, but when my husband started fly-fishing and got me involved, it made me more okay with his week long trips to awesome locations to fly-fish (although the whole Patagonia trip is still making me a little jealous, lol). Introduce her to the things you like to do, and if she doesn't want to do them with you, at least she can see why you want to and won't feel like you are trying to get away from her and the kids.
When you want to plan a hike or weekend getaway, make sure there are no activities scheduled she needs you for, that the toilet doesn't need fixing or there be back-to-back birthday parties she needs your help getting the kids too. As long as her needs are met, yours will be too. Everyone will be much happier. Good luck.
"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"
- Frank Scully
famous last words
If you find yourself in a fair fight; your tactics suck.
I don't know...Having my little girl tell me about "Justin Beefer" at dinner last night was pretty special. She has no idea who he is, or what he does, but she heard he got a hair cut!
I can't wait for scouts! I was one, but drinking and other teen age behaviors got in the way. Shame about the position on gays. I really wish they would accept others and teach that chapter of diversity. I am still going to join with the boys when the chance arrivesDon't raise little hikers, instead get them in Scouting.... Its a wonderful group thing, that has far more success, as long as an adult you participate, Pick the right troop and the Backpacking will come with the wife's understanding.....
Here is my group - 30 miler...
Anyone in Same Boat
My wife and I are going on 11 years of marriage. Compromise is key, my wife knew going in that I hiked. Now here comes the clincher I decided to go this spring for a thru-hike (class of 2011). My knee cartilidge decided to tear this fall. After some rehabilitation was back on. This winter my wife's mother passes away from a sudden illness. My wife's response "I will not stand in your way." Then go to the vet to have the dog checked out, his health is not good enough to complete a long hike. Fast forward to this past weekend we just had one of the brightest moons on record. I set up the tent in the backyard with my six year old - best time ever. I still have the mail drops ready to go, the trip mapped out, logistics coordinated, but considering being the class of 2012, OR a serious section hike (i.e. Springer to HF or HF to Kat.). I have been hiking sections of the AT every summer since I moved east around 12 years ago. This may be the year that I put things on hold and just stay home to make sure she's ok. Instead of six months a much shorter hike will be in order. Anyone interested in completing a seriously long section(s) that can relate to my canomdrum? PM me with details of what you are planning this summer. New goal - Springer to CT. Have a plane ticket out of Newark to get back. Once I know she is ready to let me go - I will bound along the trail. Until then I take care of the family.
It is not the destination but the journey.
Hey, keepinitsimple, we live close enough to one another I would be willing to go out with you and your children for an adventure
my wife suggests you do something for her but when I want to go she says "your stilled here! I thought you left"
Would you be offended if I told you to
TAKE A HIKE!
CowHead
"If at first you don't succeed......Skydiving is not for you" Zen Isms
I once was lost, then I hike the trail
I am unsure about your post, I am not a spokes-person for the group. But I will say this after being yelled at by proactive ignorant Lesbian's in front of my 16 Year old son who was selling popcorn at an ACME.
I have absolutely no position about anyone's personal lifestyle until it impacts that of a MY child. It is a Judah Christian BOYS organization that believes in moral growth and educating responsible boys to becoming leaders. They can choose their lifestyle after they leave. (18 Years old) I am for diversity - but it has NO place in the Boy Scout Organization. They are clearly trying their best to avoid what happened to the Catholic clergy here in Philadelphia.
That's my opinion. This is a blog, I am still a nice guy. Read and soft delete it if you must. I have been insulted & embarrassed repeatedly by an outspoken minority, Who up to recently, I thought were my friends.
They do teach diversity! White, Black, Hispanic, there is no shame here!
Guess you hit a nerve - it wasn't personal, back to the chat around the campfire.
Dogs are excellent judges of character, this fact goes a long way toward explaining why some people don't like being around them.
Woo
Sure....... vent, discuss, post, whatever, and it's never personal. We can agree to disagree.
The situation in Philly..with Father O'Fondlin (forgive me)... has the same Genesis (pun intended).....as the scouts policy. Just an opinion WOO.
Kids are the first priority, your wife is the second. (or maybe it's the other way around, I forget) If you wanted freedom, you should never have had 3 kids.
They grow up fast, spend time doing things with them now. You don't get that time back. In another 10 years or so, they'll be doing their own things and you'll see a lot less of them. My daughter is 18, she loves to go day hiking with me, even from the early age of 6 or 7 she'd go walking with me for miles and miles, but she rarely has the time anymore. She'll be going away to college soon, and I won't even have those day hikes anymore. I will be free to backpack, of course, but I will miss those day hikes.
Az
Do the Girl Scouts allow Fathers to take the girls camping?
It's common sense. It has less to do about being gay than it does the inability for people to control themselves. Straight or gay.
Az
No, they don't. The troop leader can do a family camping event and the dads and brothers can come then, but any other time it is women/girls only.
(I'm the troop leader for my 11 year old's troop since they were 1st grade Brownies.)
"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"
- Frank Scully
GO OUT AND HIKE!
Your World won't blow up with one or two 7 day hikes each year. The AT is my ME TIME, invaluable for lots of reasons in my life, clears my head, fitness, etc, etc.
Agree on setting up a trip for your wife to also GET AWAY, you watch the kids.
I think they call this "Life Balance".
Crucial to me in my life, I now get away for two, two-week section hikes per year and my wife is more and more supportive as time moves along, we benefit from these breaks in our relationship - have been together since 1988.
I haven't read others' posts, so I don't know if this has already been said,I am a section hiker who has been doin it well before I was blessed with the wife and children. Man oh man, I can't do **** any more. For me to get out on a hike requires an act of congress. It's not like my wife does not understand- we got engaged on the AT at Bear Rocks in PA. I know good things come to those who wait, I read " Zen 24/7", I know having a 2,4, and 5 yr old is hard. But I work hard and am well behaved. JFC.
So this post is part toung and cheek, and part ***. Let it be a lesson to all of you young bucks, kids change everything. I do look to the future of raising little hikers. They can already hike farther than any other kids I know. Life is really good. Just needed to blow off some steam. Hike on friends
but if it's about her needing your help with the kids she might have a point, and it may be a backhanded compliment to your contribution as a dad.
If it's about her being lonely, remind her that you'll come back a much happier person and be a better mate for it.
If it's about her not trusting you with other females, you have to convince her that there's no possible way you'd ever be tempted.
If it's because you go too many times during the course of a year, or that your trips are very long, you might have to alter your scheduling.
Taking the family on short camping trips (drive in) might be a way for all of you to get a dose of nature (especially if there's a naturalist available to do a tour with all of you so the family can gain a knowledge and appreciation of the outdoors).
I wish you (and your family) the best.
As I live, declares the Lord God, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn back from his way and live. Ezekiel 33:11
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