Need Help with Pathetic Scragly Beard

[KUNU]

I’ve been trying to plan for my upcoming SOBO thru-hike in June by concentrating on growing a thick manly hiker beard one could be proud of but have continued to fail miserably. I’m already 22 years old and can still barley manage a sorta goatee region and some pathetic patches. I’ve been checking out tons of trail journals and other hiker’s galleries and fear I will be left out of the exclusive hikers with awesome beards club. Every night before I go to bed I pray to the hiker gods that I will wake up in the morning with a truly amazing lumberjack beard but fear that this day will never come. Does anybody have any sort of workout, training regiment or form of meditation I could start that will have me on the path to manliness come June?

[Gipsy]

Its all in the fertilization... If you want the field to grow, you need to rub some manure on the field.

In all seriousness..... go with the goatee thing. Let it grow and just keep working it to a point. Maybe a bit like the Rob Zombie look.

[Iceaxe]

The irony is that when you begin to grow into the "old geezer" age like me the hair grows just fine from your face.. your ears.. your nose..your back.. your as$.. everywhere but the top of your head!
Hey look on the bright side, I was perpetually fishing fritos out of my big beard on trail till I resorted to shaving the dang thing off.

(Before anyone older than me posts it was not meant as an insult. I am well aware there are folks twice my age that are "half" as young.)

[TheChop]

I'm in the same boat. I'm going to try and get a few cuts long the way. I had long hair for a long time and now like the cut and clean look. I'll say it's because of the ticks but it's really because my beard is pathetic.

[K-3]

I've never grown a beard before and I'm 33. You're in good company my friend - I have no idea if it'll work for me or not but starting next month, I'll find out.

[Gray Blazer]

Ehy do you wanna look like Snuffy Smiff?

[Red Beard]

Don't feel bad KUNU. I was 25 before I could even grow a full mustache. 'Course, now I've got all the problems Iceaxe was describing... so go figure.

[bigcranky]

The irony is that when you begin to grow into the "old geezer" age like me the hair grows just fine from your face.. your ears.. your nose..your back.. your as$..

Too funny, and very true.

I had the scraggly beard thing when I was 18 or 19, then I spent six years in the military, so I had to shave every day (dagnabbit!) I stopped shaving the day I got out, and was able to grow a much nicer beard. Uniformly dark and thick and all that. Now you might generously describe it as "salt and pepper" though it looks mostly white when I look in the mirror.

So go with the goatee look for now, and in a few years you'll be able to grow a nice thick beard. Chicks dig that sort of thing, based on my personal experience anyway.

[LoneRidgeRunner]

I’ve been trying to plan for my upcoming SOBO thru-hike in June by concentrating on growing a thick manly hiker beard one could be proud of but have continued to fail miserably. I’m already 22 years old and can still barley manage a sorta goatee region and some pathetic patches. I’ve been checking out tons of trail journals and other hiker’s galleries and fear I will be left out of the exclusive hikers with awesome beards club. Every night before I go to bed I pray to the hiker gods that I will wake up in the morning with a truly amazing lumberjack beard but fear that this day will never come. Does anybody have any sort of workout, training regiment or form of meditation I could start that will have me on the path to manliness come June?

I was 25 years old before I needed to shave..don't worry about it man....I wish I still didn't have to shave all the time ...It's not really a blessing...a beard, or the lack of doesn't make you any more or less "manly."

[Ashevillian]

Its all in the fertilization... If you want the field to grow, you need to rub some manure on the field.

In all seriousness..... go with the goatee thing. Let it grow and just keep working it to a point. Maybe a bit like the Rob Zombie look.

Agree with Gipsy, beard fertilizer, if you don't know what it means, ask someone with a full heavy beard. Plus it's fun.

[Sickmont]

I’ve been trying to plan for my upcoming SOBO thru-hike in June by concentrating on growing a thick manly hiker beard one could be proud of but have continued to fail miserably. I’m already 22 years old and can still barley manage a sorta goatee region and some pathetic patches.

I always thought in order to grow a beard you needed to get past puberty first........lol

[MattC]

Don't feel bad man, I couldnt grow a full thick awesome beard till i was 24.

[Jelly-Bean]

Maybe as you are hiking your beard will relent. Or perhaps the scruffiness will add to its appeal.

[mweinstone]

if i grew a beard id have to register it with the police as i grow blades over 4 inches that dont fold. my cutting streangth is that of a small drum sander. i can make tinder by rubbing a 2x4 in my beard lightly. ive sent women to the emergency room with open chest wounds. not kidding. ive been ordered by the courts to shave daily. although im looking into a beard sheeth that would allow me to join my hikin buddys one day safly

[Pony]

Agree with Gipsy, beard fertilizer, if you don't know what it means, ask someone with a full heavy beard. Plus it's fun.

I like to think that my beard turned out so awesome because of all the bourbon and PBR I drank. Oh yeah, I couldn't grow a full beard until I was about 27.

[KUNU]

Thank you for all your kind words...perhaps one day I will simply grow out of this terrible affliction...I'm considering rocking a sweet AT edition Mohawk along with a pirate bandanna to make up for the lack of facial hair

[icemanat95]

No big deal.

Some of us just cannot grow a big, full beard. It's genetics. When I thru'd in 1995, I kept a disposable razor in my kit and shaved when I felt like it, but definitely in every town stop. I also kept my head sheared down to stubble. It was just plain easier to deal with. I had looooong hair in college and knew what that was like, then I joined the Army and knew what keeping hair extra short was like, especially under field conditions. Short is better when the going gets nasty. These days, some 20+ years later, I still keep my hair as short as my wife will put up with, though i do now have a grizzled goatee...which I trim pretty short for the hot months and when expecting to be in particularly nasty bush.

The inconveniences associated with keeping shaved and shorn are far outweighed by the hygenic benefits. And of course the nice thing about being less follically endowed, is that you don't need to shave as much.

[Old Grouse]

Put horse manure in your moccasins.

[LIhikers]

Start out clean shaven and then just let it do it's own thing.
You won't see what you look like very often anyway.

[-Ghost-]

Start out clean shaven and then just let it do it's own thing.
You won't see what you look like very often anyway.

Thats what I plan to do! And KUNU I am the same way...my beard growing skills are definitely sub-par. Oh well.