How do I convince my parents this is safe?

[Wobegon]

I'm 22, and my parents won't be financially supporting my thru-attempt, but when I recently told them, my mother especially said that her friend hiked the AT in the 70's, and that I "definitely shouldn't be going alone" because people "disappear off the trail."

I realize I'm old enough to be making my own decisions, but I don't want to outwardly disobey them, or have them worrying I'll be slashed to bits every night. How do I let them know that the AT is safer than the major city in which I live now?

Thanks!

[TheChop]

Unlikely to happen on the AT.

My mother similarly freaked out although I'm older and she's had many more years of dealing with independence in her children.

The key to me was I got her involved in the hike. She's going to be my support person. We're gong to plan it together, etc.

Another condition was me carrying a SPOT. I also got the sweet Delorme GPS out of it as well. So that's a suggestion if it's financially viable to her/you.

The other way was telling her just how unalone you'll be. I passed over 100 hikers when I was going SOBO from Neel Gap in a day.

Get her AWOL's book or a DVD. I bought Appalachian Impressions from Mountain Crossings with the specific intention of showing it to my mom. It's a good overview of the trail.

I'd say if she's that concerned about you that means she likes being involved in your life. First off involve her in the hike. When you do that she'll realize the relative safety of the trail. Actually asking something from her in terms of time/action will get her invested in your hike. My mom went from being deathly afraid to being truly excited about it.

[swjohnsey]

Tell here that most of those who were killed/disappeared were female.

[TheChop]

Tell here that most of those who were killed/disappeared were female.

That just plays into the fear.

The real way to deal with that is to tell her that yes there are scary dangerous people on the trail but that you intend to be one of the dangerous scary people on the trail.

[RaoulDuke]

lol TheChop

[DavidNH]

Fargo Bill,

I echo the suggestion that you involve your parents in your hike. Have them send you mail drops. Call them once a week or more. get them to come visit you on the trail a few times. I should actually emphasize that last point more. Call them often during the first month is probably best way to put them at ease.


Beyond that, let them know that even if you start out solo hiking, you will rarely be alone. The AT is very well traveled. If you stay in shelters, there will be a dozen or so people with you every night. Plus hikers look out for each other.

Statistically, you are far safer on the AT then driving into town to go to a movie.

[Wobegon]

Thanks for the replies so far. I'll look into the SPOT messaging system for sure and think of other ways to keep them more involved.

[bus]

''disappear off the trail."

Tell her, "See Mom, on the trail I should have no problem!

[Ogre]

Another condition was me carrying a SPOT. I also got the sweet Delorme GPS out of it as well. So that's a suggestion if it's financially viable to her/you.

Yeah, this. I asked my wife to buy me one for Christmas. But carrying it is more my Christmas present to her than the other way around.

(Note: she gets actual presents too, I'm not that dumb )

[Lone Wolf]

I'm 22, and my parents won't be financially supporting my thru-attempt, but when I recently told them, my mother especially said that her friend hiked the AT in the 70's, and that I "definitely shouldn't be going alone" because people "disappear off the trail."

I realize I'm old enough to be making my own decisions, but I don't want to outwardly disobey them, or have them worrying I'll be slashed to bits every night. How do I let them know that the AT is safer than the major city in which I live now?

Thanks!

tell them you're either gonna do the trail or join the army and go infantry. kiddin' aside, you're a young man that can do what he damn well pleases

[bus]

But really, my wife was aworried about my section hike and suggested I recruit buddies to go with me. That wasnt the best option in the end. Coming home after a truncated hike, and talking with her about the amount of folks on the trail she suggested I go alone next time and meet liek minded hikers to walk with along the way.

There should be a number of folks progressing at your speed that can watch out for you, and you them along the way.

Plus, the same undesireable folks that you may meet in town or near trailheads along the way could also be right down your street posing a threat on the way to market just as easy as posing a threat on the trail.

Maybe show her this forum and all the success stories and the loose network of folks on here that watch out for each other.

[Miner]

But the trail is dangerous. Don't lie to her. Many who hike the trail become professional bums afterwards and go from one adventure to the next. Even college graduates or those who made good money have thrown it all away to work low paying jobs just to pay for their next trip. That should be far scarier to most moms then what she imagines now.

As to SPOT. Their main use seems to be a method to calm the unreasonable fears of family members. However, I would NOT volunteer to carry a SPOT unless you are the one who wants it. For many of us, they are just dead weight in the pack that sometimes gets left behind somewhere and you have to go back for it since you left it out at the last break.

[jesse]

Just go. Let them deal with their problem.

[Lone Wolf]

Just go. Let them deal with their problem.

yeah really

[max patch]

The Spot is a false sense of security. If it makes them feel good when they get "OK" message, how do you think they are going to react the first nite they don't get a message because the stupid thing broke or couldn't get a signal out. They're going to freak out. There are also instances (search the site or google) where expert hikers accidentally sent out the "need help" message and SAR teams were sent out. Oops.

[Flippy]

Fargo Bill,

You will not be alone. A couple thousand people every year attempt an Appalachian Trail thru-hike. Finding an open spot in the shelters at first can sometimes be a challenge - especially if the weather is bad.

May I suggest that you sit down with your parents and talk openly about their concerns with your hike. Take notes if you have to, and promise them that you will address each one of their concerns before you proceed with your hike. Try to emphasize that you want to put their minds at ease, and this hike is something you have wanted for a long time. It's as important to you, if you intend on finishing- that your family and friends support your hike. We sometimes refer to it as the vortex - but more on that another time. After Harpers' Ferry it's pretty much mental, unless you get injured.

I forget the stats, but I think 10 percent leave within the first 30 miles (Neels Gap), and by Damascus (Symbolic 1/4 way point) the number has dwindled quite a bit more. It will probably take you 5 or so weeks to reach Damascus. By Harper's Ferry around half of the hikers who make it to Damascus will leave too. Still there will be plenty of fellow hikers to hike with.

As the other hikers have mentioned keeping in contact and involving your family will help put their minds at rest for your safety. After the talk with your parents, if you post their concerns - we may be able to help you in addressing their concerns.

[Wobegon]

Just go. Let them deal with their problem.

Oh, I will be going. I just don't want to create excess drama and bad blood in my family. It's important to me.

[SkraM]

Good for you...demonstrating your good character by honoring your parents. Your parents have raised a smart young man. However, good parents need to know when to let go. You did the right thing by asking them. They expressed their concerns and reservations. Now go hiking!

[So Far]

Look at all the bad things that can happen everyday living where u live...Now the AT. I was only alone twice on my AT thru-hike

[TheChop]

Oh, I will be going. I just don't want to create excess drama and bad blood in my family. It's important to me.

One way to not create excess drama is to not go into ultimatum mode. You won't leave for awhile so there's time for them to come around to it.