"Don't do it!" Discouragement attempts.

[Kirby]

I have been mulling this question for a couple of days now. I have come to believe that the discouragement happens when people first hear of your intent. I think it is matter of educating those around you. Explaining everything you can about the trail, and the thru hiking world. In the end, a lot of people close to me are fully supporting me. Are the worried? Of course, are the cheering me on? Absolutely. I firmly believe education is key.

Kirby

[Jan LiteShoe]

I have been mulling this question for a couple of days now. I have come to believe that the discouragement happens when people first hear of your intent. I think it is matter of educating those around you. Explaining everything you can about the trail, and the thru hiking world. In the end, a lot of people close to me are fully supporting me. Are the worried? Of course, are the cheering me on? Absolutely. I firmly believe education is key.

Kirby

Wow, has it ever been fun watching you grow, Kirby.
You are going to be an awesome adult.
Good luck on your hike this year.

[Jan LiteShoe]

One day I saw a dog pulling the final few dirt diggs out of a hole under a fence and then crawling out. He had a look of such joy on his face. There were two other dogs behind the fence who were too afraid to crawl out. The look on their faces clearly said "Don't do it". Slaves do not like other slaves to escape.

A fractured fairytale.
Pure poetry.

[ScottP]

Education is the key--most people have no idea of what hiking the AT is about.

Part of keeping up with the Joneses is having a 'successful' child. If your parents are still playing that game, then of course they're going to discourage you from hiking the AT. Hiking the AT can be the beginning of a big lifestyle change for a lot of people.

They might never understand, but they'll get over it.

[AT-HITMAN2005]

what jack said. they're just jealous. if they had half a clue about the trail, they would know that people much older than them have completed the trail. they just think its too late to accomplish there dreams, even if its not the trail.

[Programbo]

One day I saw a dog pulling the final few dirt diggs out of a hole under a fence and then crawling out. He had a look of such joy on his face. There were two other dogs behind the fence who were too afraid to crawl out. The look on their faces clearly said "Don't do it". Slaves do not like other slaves to escape.

You left out the part where the "escaping" dog gets run over by a car or wanders aimless, dirty and lonely thru the woods til it is picked up and taken to the pound and gassed and the dogs who remained behind go on to live long happy lives because they listened to those who loved them and left well enough alone

[fiddlehead]

Those people (OP's friends) watch way too much tv.
they need to get out and hike.

--
"Believe Nothing, No matter where you read it, or who has said it, even if I have said it, Unless it agrees with your own reason, and your own common sense!" Buddha

[riga]

anxious to see me become self-sufficient and established in a good career.

That's my dad exactly.
He wants me to be more like my sister, the schoolteacher, who is complaining about how I get to go hiking!

[berninbush]

That's my dad exactly.
He wants me to be more like my sister, the schoolteacher, who is complaining about how I get to go hiking!

Parents are parents, everywhere. They want their kids to be happy. And most parents have been around long enough to know that while money doesn't equal happiness, it's hard to be happy when you're flat broke and can't pay your bills or lack the basic necessities of life.

What are your plans after the hike? Do you plan to have a career? Or do you have some other plan to support yourself? Might help if you could share this with your dad and show him that you've thought it through responsibly... also that you have enough money saved up to get you through the hike and help you transition into whatever's next.

To put it bluntly, parents want assurance that they're not going to end up supporting you for the rest of their lives only to have you fall to pieces when they're gone.

[riga]

being serious here

If you had to put one together, what would your hiking resume be right now.
I am not siding with discouragement, just want to see how much experience youve had.

I was just thinking, do you have a lot of experience, or some....that could be the root of the discouragement

Yeah, I don't have a track record in this instance that they can point to and say, well, she's done this before and was fine.

I have gone alone to Europe, and driven, alone, for weeks across the US, sleeping in the car at rest stops and Wal-Marts. I felt comfortable doing that because for 5 years during summers my Mom would take 2 weeks to drive from Houston to B.C., Canada, stopping at parks and campgrounds along the way; then 2 weeks in Canada; then 2 weeks back home, except we'd usually have taken too long, so usually around Anaconda, Montana, my Mom would put me, starting at age 12, and one of my brothers, age 9, on the Greyhound bus to Houston so we'd get back in time for school. Greyhound would mess up our schedule somehow each time, so we kids would be running around Salt Lake City, for example, for a 15 hour layover. Stuff like that.

The first trip, my Dad was coming with us, second vehicle, but he thought my Mother was driving too slow. So at a campground somewhere in New Mexico, when we went to bed, he dumped all the stuff out of his vehicle and drove back to Houston. When we woke up in the morning to a pile of camping gear and luggage, he was already back home.
Anyway, we kids got to go to Bryce Canyon and Yellowstone and get set loose there to hike/explore/climb. Once at Yellowstone, my brother and I went along a trail that seemed to end, so we climbed up, kind of like a cliff. We were almost as surprised as the tourists we came across on a metal-bar fenced platform. It was a lookout at one of the waterfalls.

We never had any gear.

I was in Girl Scouts growing up. Whenever we went camping it would rain and freeze and we always got a Penguin Patch for sticking it out. Other troops would leave, but to us it was the same thing that always happened.

[riga]

What are your plans after the hike? Do you plan to have a career? Or do you have some other plan to support yourself? Might help if you could share this with your dad and show him that you've thought it through responsibly... also that you have enough money saved up to get you through the hike and help you transition into whatever's next.

To put it bluntly, parents want assurance that they're not going to end up supporting you for the rest of their lives only to have you fall to pieces when they're gone.

You're right on my dad's wavelength.

I still have some math to work out regarding how I'm going to stretch my cash (was just about to get into that today), but I'm good with money and have a credit card (that I always pay on time. I'll use bill pay on a computer when I'm in town.) The plan is to bring along sections of this book here, lessee, Zen and the Art of Making a Living - A Practical Guide to Creative Career Design, and another book I've got. When I'm done hiking, I'm going to get a job, supporting myself, paying off the credit card, and saving up to maybe go to school the following fall or the year after? Pay for it myself so I can take theater and maybe become a playwright? I make up stories easy. I just don't write them, but I've done good dialogue before. Maybe learn some Chinese and take some ballet in the meantime? Ideally learn cloud swing and trapeze. Then maybe do some film acting in China. Eventually get some of my stories produced as films. (Btw, I have danced on stage, and I eat it up. I'm an introvert who loves being on stage. I have been in a short film, and I have done some University script and film work.)

[wrongway_08]

My dad introduced me to the AT around the age of 8. At 15 when I told him I planned to thru-hike it when I got out of high school - he went out and bought me a few books and a VHS video of a thru-hiker who completed it. Never once did he say dont do - just the oppiste, he told me to go explore now - before settling down.

My mom on the other hand, was the one who said I'd die and could get hurt and didnt want me to go. Of course that was just her motherly protection kicking in !

The rest of the family is use to me doing these things - just not on such a big scale - they think its cool.

[Smile]

IMHO, humans often fear what they do not understand.

I agree with you all, education is the key

[HIKER7s]

Yeah, I don't have a track record in this instance that they can point to and say, well, she's done this before and was fine.

I have gone alone to Europe, and driven, alone, for weeks across the US, sleeping in the car at rest stops and Wal-Marts. I felt comfortable doing that because for 5 years during summers my Mom would take 2 weeks to drive from Houston to B.C., Canada, stopping at parks and campgrounds along the way; then 2 weeks in Canada; then 2 weeks back home, except we'd usually have taken too long, so usually around Anaconda, Montana, my Mom would put me, starting at age 12, and one of my brothers, age 9, on the Greyhound bus to Houston so we'd get back in time for school. Greyhound would mess up our schedule somehow each time, so we kids would be running around Salt Lake City, for example, for a 15 hour layover. Stuff like that.

The first trip, my Dad was coming with us, second vehicle, but he thought my Mother was driving too slow. So at a campground somewhere in New Mexico, when we went to bed, he dumped all the stuff out of his vehicle and drove back to Houston. When we woke up in the morning to a pile of camping gear and luggage, he was already back home.
Anyway, we kids got to go to Bryce Canyon and Yellowstone and get set loose there to hike/explore/climb. Once at Yellowstone, my brother and I went along a trail that seemed to end, so we climbed up, kind of like a cliff. We were almost as surprised as the tourists we came across on a metal-bar fenced platform. It was a lookout at one of the waterfalls.

We never had any gear.

I was in Girl Scouts growing up. Whenever we went camping it would rain and freeze and we always got a Penguin Patch for sticking it out. Other troops would leave, but to us it was the same thing that always happened.

In sounds like your on par with what the task is. There are alot who just one day say to themselves "I want to do that" (dont get me wrong, some of those people actually go not as prepared as the next and still make it and in turn find out so much about themselves) . However, its just as good going into it with some experience of being alone, independent and being able to roll with the many challenges the path gives you over that distance

[Chaco Taco]

Wow, has it ever been fun watching you grow, Kirby.
You are going to be an awesome adult.
Good luck on your hike this year.

You know I was thinking this yesterday when I was reading his journal. When you finish, you will have more stories than most have in a lifetime.

[Jan LiteShoe]

You left out the part where the "escaping" dog gets run over by a car or wanders aimless, dirty and lonely thru the woods til it is picked up and taken to the pound and gassed and the dogs who remained behind go on to live long happy lives because they listened to those who loved them and left well enough alone

The point is, it takes all kinds to make a world.

Historically, it wasn't the ones who stayed home who advanced discovery.
Every individual needs to answer this question for them self: 'Is "staying safe" my highest priority?'

Most people will answer "yes," and that's just fine. A few will answer "no." Those who sign up to serve their country, for example, must answer this question.
Both answers serve "the tribe," or whatever group unit you designate.

I can sure understand her father's concern.
And I can sure understand her urge to bust out and do her hike.

[Jan LiteShoe]

You're right on my dad's wavelength.

I still have some math to work out regarding how I'm going to stretch my cash (was just about to get into that today), but I'm good with money and have a credit card (that I always pay on time. I'll use bill pay on a computer when I'm in town.) The plan is to bring along sections of this book here, lessee, Zen and the Art of Making a Living - A Practical Guide to Creative Career Design, and another book I've got. When I'm done hiking, I'm going to get a job, supporting myself, paying off the credit card, and saving up to maybe go to school the following fall or the year after?

You have some exciting dreams, I hope you realize them.
Just an aside here.

I have had a fair amount of freedom in my life because I've been extremely careful about debt, particularly credit card debt. Thank heavens my parents instilled a "pay-as-you-go" ethic in my head, and thank heavens their message got through. Each month had to be paid off in full, they taught.

As far as I'm concerned, credit cards are a useful tool, to be paid off MONTHLY (as you indicated). Otherwise, it's easy to find oneself over one's head very quickly, perpetually in debt to "the company store," with interest piling up on interest.

Stay free! My parents are now gone, but I think I'll just offer up a silent word of thanks to them right now... that simple principle has saved me untold hours of stress and worry, and given me much freedom.

[Pony]

I absolutely feared telling my father because I assumed he would be discouraging, and I'm 32. As it turned out, my brother beat me to it, and his first response was "what the hell is he thinking". My brother then told my Dad that I was going regardless, and he should just be supportive. This softened the blow, and to my surprise, he seems to be encouraging me. Not only is he driving me to Springer, but I think I have him talked into doing the Approach trail with me. He surprised me even further by saying he wanted to meet up with me along the way to visit, as long as it didn't interfere with his yearly fishing trip to Canada. On Christmas Day, he asked me how I was going to get home from Maine. I said that if I were lucky enough to make it there, I would find a way home, I didn't expect him to come get me. His response was "well, you never know". I think it's easy to forget that your parents love you when they are trying to discourage you from something they don't understand. I know in the end, my dad will be my number one supporter.

[Kirby]

I absolutely feared telling my father because I assumed he would be discouraging, and I'm 32. As it turned out, my brother beat me to it, and his first response was "what the hell is he thinking". My brother then told my Dad that I was going regardless, and he should just be supportive. This softened the blow, and to my surprise, he seems to be encouraging me. Not only is he driving me to Springer, but I think I have him talked into doing the Approach trail with me. He surprised me even further by saying he wanted to meet up with me along the way to visit, as long as it didn't interfere with his yearly fishing trip to Canada. On Christmas Day, he asked me how I was going to get home from Maine. I said that if I were lucky enough to make it there, I would find a way home, I didn't expect him to come get me. His response was "well, you never know". I think it's easy to forget that your parents love you when they are trying to discourage you from something they don't understand. I know in the end, my dad will be my number one supporter.

Great post.

Kirby

[Blue Jay]

You left out the part where the "escaping" dog gets run over by a car or wanders aimless, dirty and lonely thru the woods til it is picked up and taken to the pound and gassed and the dogs who remained behind go on to live long happy lives because they listened to those who loved them and left well enough alone

Spoken by someone who knows where the hole in the fence is and has stood near it looking out for 30 YEARS.