PFTHD - Post-failed thru hike depression...anyone else?

[superman]

In the first place there is no such thing as a failed thru hike. It is only a thru hike that turned into a section hike. It's no thing.
In the second place I've been married and I've been single. They are just two different flavors. I was married for 18.5 years and a lot of good things happened. On the other hand a lot of good things happened while I've been single. Both flavors are good...just different.
Thirdly, life is like a thru hike. Just because there is rain some times doesn't mean it's not a good hike.
Finally I tell you about a friend of mine who came to me and said "My wife wants me to sell my Harley or else she's filing for a divorce." With out pause I said "keep your Harley...it makes less noise than your wife." While that may seem knee slapping hilarious to you the point is to figure out what's important to you and just do it.
(personal philosophy...no charge)

[Brrrb Oregon]

I'm a little confused.

I thought VictoriaM went back out on the trail, full of renewed hope and with her husband's blessings, marriage in fine shape, back in April.

Has she been heard from since? Has something gone wrong that I don't know about? I thought she was still out there.

[Brrrb Oregon]

The easiest way to avoid divorce is to not file for one. I'll take note of that.

I think that a woman who vows to kill her husband rather than divorce him can statistically expect to face a significantly lower risk of divorce, particularly if she owns both a cast-iron skillet and a shot gun. I've been told that this attitude really fosters a sense of attentiveness and a commitment to fidelity in the husband, as well. Well, that's what my mom told me, anyway. I know many women married over 50 years who have said the same thing. The resolution to continue living is a strong motivator.

The standard of separation under this strategy is "Not a jury in the world would convict you, girl."

[Brrrb Oregon]

I think that a woman who vows to kill her husband rather than divorce him can statistically expect to face a significantly lower risk of divorce, particularly if she owns both a cast-iron skillet and a shot gun. I've been told that this attitude really fosters a sense of attentiveness and a commitment to fidelity in the husband, as well. Well, that's what my mom told me, anyway. I know many women married over 50 years who have said the same thing. The resolution to continue living is a strong motivator.

The standard of separation under this strategy is "Not a jury in the world would convict you, girl."

None of the husbands were ever injured in these experiments. Domestic violence is inconsistent with the survival of marriage, and it doesn't matter who the perpetrator is. The point is that these ladies were willing to put up with a lot, they were in it for the long haul, but they drew their boundaries quite clearly, too, and in no uncertain terms.

[Kiyu]

I'm a little confused.

I thought VictoriaM went back out on the trail, full of renewed hope and with her husband's blessings, marriage in fine shape, back in April.

Has she been heard from since? Has something gone wrong that I don't know about? I thought she was still out there.

She went back out in April I think and when I checked her journal there was nothing after her April 11 entry. She came out recently and posted something about her dogs so it seems she wasn't able to stay on the trail.
Kiyu

[Brrrb Oregon]

She went back out in April I think and when I checked her journal there was nothing after her April 11 entry. She came out recently and posted something about her dogs so it seems she wasn't able to stay on the trail.
Kiyu

Oh, well.... if she gets around a computer some time, I hope we hear from her. I've been wondering how it went. Maybe she has an open summer and is just doing other trails, instead. That could make an interesting story, too, when it comes.....the road less travelled.

[chief]

I think that a woman who vows to kill her husband rather than divorce him can statistically expect to face a significantly lower risk of divorce, particularly if she owns both a cast-iron skillet and a shot gun. I've been told that this attitude really fosters a sense of attentiveness and a commitment to fidelity in the husband, as well. Well, that's what my mom told me, anyway. I know many women married over 50 years who have said the same thing. The resolution to continue living is a strong motivator.

The standard of separation under this strategy is "Not a jury in the world would convict you, girl."

I served on a jury several years ago. Our case was a 49 yo woman who shotgunned her hubby while he was sleeping. Did we convict? You betcha! She got 25 years.

[MOWGLI]

You said: "Husbands come and go"

Only if the woman divorces them, as a rule. Easily 75% of divorces in marriages involving minor children (families) are filed for by the woman, and the bulk of the time without what has long been considered legal (e.g., real) grounds existing for those divorces,

A few questions:

1. Whose "rule" are you referring to above?

2. Where did you get that 75% figure? Got any data to back up that claim?

3. How do you know that the "bulk" of divorces had no legal grounds?

MS, you claim to be a scientist, so I hope you can produce some data to bolster what appears to be conjecture on your part. I'll apologize for suggesting that you're wrong if you can back up your claim with something other than a "Father's Rights" website.

[Brrrb Oregon]

I served on a jury several years ago. Our case was a 49 yo woman who shotgunned her hubby while he was sleeping. Did we convict? You betcha! She got 25 years.

Important Clarification: Although my own mother, grandmother, and their contemporaries did talk like this, I didn't mean she actually should shoot him. I meant that if a jury would even consider forgiving you for shooting him, then go ahead and leave: you have grounds for separation. I think that is how Grandma meant it, too.

Seriously, though, I'm not advocating in favor of domestic violence. I'm advocating staying around as long as you find him no worse than annoying. Moods do change.

[parintachin]

Victoria: First, you're right, you can't go back now. Real injuries need time to heal, and injuring an injury will make it worse- not just at the moment, but for years to come. I'm speaking from experience.

Second, I understand where you're coming from. I began what was supposed to be a 3 month, 800 mile hike and had to leave the trail after one week: 35 miles into the 100-mile wilderness I injured one ankle badly enough to need a month's recovery, had to hike the 35 miles back to get home, and in so doing hurt the other as well as inflaming both knees. Proof as though any were needed, that ignoring knee injuries 10-11 years ago (repeated stress on a bad bone structure) still has it's effects today. (see above: take all the time you need to heal.)

Like you, I have had to accept that a thru-hike will not happen. It sucks. It really sucks. But you can still take weekend hikes, or week-long hikes, and when your kids get older, take them on a long 2-month hike during their summer break from school. At some point in your life you CAN take a break from working- whether that means becoming so indispensable at your job that they will hold it for you for 2, 3, or 6 months (hey, one place held my mother's for a year), or to quit your job and begin another 3-6 months later.


After your 4-8 weeks recovery time this time around, you don't have to get to work straightaway. Pick a campground by a big lake. Set up a tent. Hang out. Enjoy the air. It's free. It doesn't require too much use of your legs. Your arms still work- rent or borrow a kayak. Pick up a book on bird calls and on plants native to the region. Listen. Look. Learn. Enjoy

[JAK]

Silly rabbit. Woods are for kids.

[JAK]

Might as well being saying you can't go out on Halloween Night. Makes no sense to me whatsoever. Life doesn't end with children. Life just begins all over again. Perhaps it easier when you grow up with woods all around you, but we have to stop thinking about the woods as some far off un-natural boogey man place that we need to prepare for like a space mission, and once we get there walk around in space suits like it was the moon. I think we sometimes take this business of leave no trace a bit far. Get down. Get dirty. Smell it. Taste it. Roll around in it. It's called nature for a reason. It's the place we are naturally meant to be. With kids, dogs, husbands, if you have them you just bring them along with you, naturally.

[JAK]

Darn. This thread should be dead.
Please disregard or delete last two posts.