Ok now that I think about it a bit more I think it was Pokey the Pink Squid that I was talking to so it probably wasn't you.
I think people have already answered your last question.....the fact is, in a tight-knit "commmunity" of people like thru-hikers, asking someone their daily plans is considered a perfectly normal thing to do. Let's say there are half a dozen people in a shelter early one morning, eating breakfast, packing up, whatever. Asking another hiker what their plans are for the day is absolutely a typical, normal thing to do, especially if it's a hiker you know. To term these queries as "totally inappropriate" is simply not always the case; a lot of times, it's a perfectly natural, perfectly appropriate thing to do.
And as has been pointed out several times, you have every right to answer these questions as you wish.....or you can not answer them at all.
But to expect guys to have some sort of goo-goo sensitivity training in regards to questions that on many occasions are perfectly natural ones....well, that's expecting a lot. You say you're "trying to change a way of thinking." Well, good luck. Hikers are always naturally curious about what other hikers are up to, especially if it's a hiker they know. And 99.9 percent of the time, these questions are inoccuous, casual, and absolutely have no ulterior motive or sinister connotations.
But as I said earlier, you of course have the right to deal with these questions any way you wish to.
Adding to what's already been mentioned above:
Also remember that the very ones you trust the least are the ones you'll hope are around when you need them the most..
Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, you're a mile away, and you've got his shoes.
Now that you have me thinking... : )
There is a free-flow of information on the trail through questions like this that is, frankly, kinda fun to keep tapped into. What you are asking is for everyone to stop part of that normal trail conversation.
Are these comments really totally inappropriate? You are among kindred spirits 99.9 % of the time on the AT, not people to be afraid of. You have made a decision to carry protection and you have the option to choose not to give out information.
Here is a serious question: Do you feel afraid when a male hiker asks you if you are headed to the next shelter, or comforted that you will not be alone?
TTF
Pokey, I'm another female. As the fellows have said, 'Where are you staying' is a common question among backpackers and most don't give a darn if you're a girl or guy when asking. Talking about where you're staying, the last and next trail town, trail magic and trail conditions / weather are just part of the fabric of backpackers' society. If the question makes you uncomfortable, tell them you haven't decided yet. No one will question that answer.
As for 'are you hiking alone?' - I personally have not had many people ask and most were other women with someone who were afraid to hike alone. If I had any hinky feeling at all - I would say I was with others - just hiking a bit faster or slower than the group.
sounds like someone is a little paranoid
Conquest: It is not the Mountain we conquer but Ourselves
..........
(someone already said what I tried to say, only they said it better)
Last edited by Frosty; 07-31-2006 at 19:29.
Frosty
I really want to say something here, but I know it'll come out as being sexist or insensitive somehow. So I'll keep my mouth shut for once
Physics is the only true science. All else is stamp collecting. - J. J. Thompson
So, where is Salem do you live.....
You are in heaven.
I think the first question "are you alone?" is a little too personal but the second "where are you headed for the night?" could be construed as a normal trail community type question. I mean it is sort of a safety thing. If you say you are headed somewhere and do not show up it might raise some alarms for some people after a while.. You could be dying at the bottom of the hill. You might just answer with more long term goals like Damascus by friday or something like that...
Pokey2006,
You advise, “I need your help guys!” and ask, “STOP ASKING ... am I alone, and where am I headed for the night???”
There is something unrealistic about your request.
You hope to change the behavior of, I suspect, most hikers, male and female. Most male hikers don’t read this website. [Sorry, Sgt Rock, but I really believe this.] And, not all who read this website are going to read this thread.
You have the option to be dishonest. Remember, once someone realizes you lied to them, their opinion of you is forever affected by that discovery.
I often innocently will ask hikers those questions. I have great admiration for the courage of solo women hikers. (The reason for my admiration is, of itself, sad commentary on our society today.) I often can provide some information about what they can expect ahead. I have found myself stopping short, to keep from asking either question of female hikers, and have realized my halting just had opposite the desired effect, increasing the anxiety of a frightened female. We both would have been better off had I just done the big no-no and asked the dreaded questions.
Oddly enough, solo female hikers are sufficiently self assured that they answer those two questions.
Let me suggest, when asked either question, you respond with something like, “I’d rather not say.” Or, “can’t we talk about something else?” Both responses tell me you’re afraid and reluctant. This is totally understandable and won't antagonize any well-meaning questioner. If my return response is off-putting for you, you’ve just learned something about me which could become very important, something you may otherwise not have known.
It seems an unreasonable expectation that half the hiking world will change its behavior. Just a thought.
“The earth does not belong to man, man belongs to earth. ...
Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it.
Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.”
hey pokey2006, i don't think your request is unreasonable. for the sake of harmony and respect i won't ask those questions. seems simple enough
If I was to ask a "none of my business" question to a solo female, or more than one female hiker(s) it would be "Whats your sexual preference aka: Are you gay?"
i think pokey is probably referring to hikers she doesn't know walking up to here and asking her where she's going to spend the night. there are more than a few sketchy characters on the trail. in fact, there are a bunch of bums out there who'd be sleeping under a damn bridge if they weren't curling up in shelters on the trail. most of these clowns are harmless but you never know, do you? pokey is smart to be careful.
How many people does POKEY know here at WB??
Careful is always good. Paranoid, maybe not so good.
Ridge - Do you ALWAYS have to be a jerk, man?
Physics is the only true science. All else is stamp collecting. - J. J. Thompson
Coupla thoughts:
1) Those questions are always going to be asked... for good reasons as well as suspect reasons ---- even though no guy in his right mind in town would ask a woman the same things unless it was in a bar near to closing time. Guys are dopes. Get over it. Like the optomist says, "It doesn't get any better than this!" To which the pessimist agrees.
2) Given the unfortunate fact that most guys are going to ask stupid questions on the trail that they wouldn't dare ask in town, a woman would do well to cook up some canned answers that will help her feel more comfortable:
a) "Are you hiking alone?" "Are you kidding? Do I look like a fool? I'm just faster than (the rest of the group, my brothers, those drag-assed recruits)."
b) "Where ya headed?" "DUh, Katahdin?" "I dunno, probably another 7-8 miles." "I'll stop wherever the unit commander says."
at least they didn't ask what's your sign.
SOOOoooo Sensitive.Originally Posted by blackbishop351
Pokey your fears and worries are justified.
Don't camp near forest service roads, trail heads, etc. Plan your day so that this doesn't happen, especially on the weekends.
I've never had a problem on the Trail. Never. Rarely had a problem in town, and camping too close to civilization but NOT directly on the Trail. Mostly problems in town-but very few: don't make it obvious you're hiking alone, and don't go to pubs alone in strange towns.
Last edited by StarLyte; 08-01-2006 at 09:15.
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