Thought I'd Share This With You

[mdionne]

A friend of mine sent this to me a while ago, I thought you'd enjoy it too.

What to say when someone asks, "What's the Appalachian Trail like?
Do you think I'll like it?"

Well if you like being hungry all the time and you don't mind being
soaked when its raining or being soaked with sweat when its not
raining, and you enjoy having crotch rot and jock itch and battered
feet black and blue until you walk like you have broken feet and
you're hip with the idea of being completely filthy and you like
the smell of your own stench and body odor, and you like the smell
of other peoples **** and urine. Do you enjoy beating your ankles
and knees daily? Are you thrilled by being eaten alive by
mosquitoes, black flies, and ticks, or do you find bee stings and
rattlesnakes just simply enthralling? Then you might be ready to
face the fourteen days of nothing but rain and the shelters with
mice that eat the earplugs right out of your ears so you can hear
the dumb-ass weekender snore even louder. Do you love carrying a
ton of weight on your back until your hips are deformed and raw and
your backbone feels like a chainsaw blade burnt into the muscles
between your shoulders? Then you might consider the temporary life
of nothing but oatmeal and noodles day after day, after day, after
day, after day, while being surrounded by eccentric weirdoes who
can talk about nothing but miles, miles, miles, miles, miles,
miles, miles. Do you enjoy the simplicity of counting each step as
it feels like jolt after jolt of electricity into the soles of your
feet? And if you really like being looked at like you are some
escaped convict, maniac, transient by all the 'clean people' then
you might not mind wearing clothes that are so filthy and caked
with dirt and mud that your socks and shorts can not only stand by
themselves but actually move. Do you like to watch the skin of your
feet peel off like a daily shedding snake? Are you thrilled by the
sight of your own blood and mucus? And do you like to freeze one
day then burn up the next or enjoy falling face first into briars?
If you don't like sleep or rest of any kind then you might not
mind the seventy percent markup of your twelve-thousandth can of
tuna at some rip-off convenient store that is a six-mile walk down
a busy street from the trail. Are you just tickled pink by finding
out that you just walked two miles down the wrong trail or in the
wrong direction? Would you enjoy climbing up to overlook after
overlook to have a wonderful view of nothing but the cloud that
you're standing in? If you are addicted to poison ivy and any other
unknown rashes, you might like to enjoy excruciating pain in body
parts that you never knew you had. Maybe you like to be lied to by
maps and bull**** signs and markers, or enjoy being attacked by
'problem' bears, or maybe you like falling on sharp rocks while
struggling across loose ankle busters. Would you find that chaffing
is a wonderful way of reminding yourself that you still have balls
even though they feel like they are only attached by a single
string of torn skin, or you find that sucking gnats into your lungs
is simply a good 'gag' or find that a million spider webs across
your face is simply a neat invisible mask to you? If you love and
enjoy worrying whether the water you are drinking is going to make
you **** goose diarrhea all over yourself or if you really,
really, really worship the idea of having time to do nothing but
walk over the worst terrain in America then, YES!, I do say that
you will really enjoy the Appalachian Trail.

The Beer Poet (A.T. class of 2001)

[swift]

I originally read this piece in of the registers at the Sidetrack Cafe in 2003, hand-written and also signed by Beer Poet. I don't know if that is where it was originally posted but when I called the cafe after my hike to request a photostatted copy of it, they told me that someone had ripped the page out of the register and took it. Thanks for posting it on here.

[mdionne]

I originally read this piece in of the registers at the Sidetrack Cafe in 2003, hand-written and also signed by Beer Poet. I don't know if that is where it was originally posted but when I called the cafe after my hike to request a photostatted copy of it, they told me that someone had ripped the page out of the register and took it. Thanks for posting it on here.

this was sent to me by friends who have never hiked the trail. and live in oregon. i'll have to ask where they got it from.

[totempole99]

Or if you are lazy like me and don't want to read it, watch it here http://www.cirquevideo.com/Trekpage.html . Middle of the page on the right, Watch 'The AT Poem'

[Miss Janet]

I lost him after his hike out west last year.... and he just lives 25 miles away!! Mr. Bragg... CALL HOME!

Hearing him do any of his "work" in person is really cool. Especially if it happens to be in the Blair Witch House... in the middle of a cold dark night with a dozen crazy hikers!

[Footslogger]

That's an excerpt from a poem he wrote in Monson - September 2001. I was there with my wife (BadAss Turtle) and he (BeerPoet - Brandon) had run out of money and was selling signed copies of the entire poem for a buck to finance his final re-supply for the 100 mile wilderness.

We had the good fortune of being in the audience when he read the entire poem aloud in front of the BarBQ place in Monson. Pretty hard to pass up the opportunity for a piece of trail lore like that.

Interesting sideline note is that the poem, in it's entirety, is posted on my wife's office door (along with a lot of other AT memorabilia) at the University of Wyoming. You'd be amazed at the number of people who actually stop and read the whole poem and then knock on her door to find out more about its origin and author.

'Slogger

[mdionne]

wow, i never knew it was such a popular poem. no wonder my friends had it.

[Uncle Wayne]

We had the pleasure of spending a few nights in Central Virginia with Beer Poet in 2001, pre poem I believe. Enjoyed his company. Here's a photo of him.
http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/vbg/...=665&userid=65