Originally Posted by
greenmtnboy
From the local seniors, not sure if there is relevance here....
WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE!What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans takecare of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a waterpark. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal.You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and thinkof which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress: $5,000. Tux rental: $100. People never stareat your chest when you’re talking to them.New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be yourfriend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a five-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You are unable to see wrinklesin your clothes.Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shaveyour face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes: One color for all seasons. Youcan wear shorts no matter how your legs look.You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can doChristmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier!
THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN & WOMEN (They’re not what you might think!)NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. But ifMike, Dave and John go out, they will refer to each other affectionately as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wild Man.EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only $32.50;none of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls gettheir bill, out come the pocket calculators.MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need... butit’s on sale.BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar ofsoap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. (ēĔęĊ: A man would notbe able to identify more than 20 of these item.)ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument... anything a man says after that is the beginning of anew argument.THE FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about thefuture... until he gets a wife.MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change... but he doesn’t. A man marries a womanexpecting she won’t change... but she does.