Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 4 5 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 98

Thread: Friendliness

  1. #1

    Default Friendliness

    Was at Maupin Field Shelter on Saturday afternoon after finishing a classic Mau-Hard Trail/Appalachian Trail loop. Sitting at the picnic table next to the freshly fallen giant tree, a youngish looking male/female couple came up from Campell Creek. I gave a warm hello to the female hiker, who didn’t answer. Followed just a few steps by her boyfriend or spouse and also offered a hello. No answer. It was downright odd to be given the cold shoulder like that, but raises the question of “Should I have been more insistent”. It’s likely they were having a bad hair day or something. Or they forgot their water filter, or in the midst of their own drama. But wishing they said “Hello” back so I wouldn’t be worried about them two days later.

    Ever had an awkward encounter like this?!

  2. #2

    Default

    I notice it often with people. I was raised with different manners but I guess my way is not the highway :-)
    Last edited by T.S.Kobzol; 04-01-2019 at 09:30.
    Let me go

  3. #3

    Default

    Several possible explanations. You didn't say if they kept hiking past the shelter or if there was recognition like a nod of a head or a look acknowledging your greeting. It could be something very simple like ear buds that are difficult to see may have been in use, which is pretty commonplace and they simply may not have heard you.

    It is quite possible they were in process of completing a difficult hike or sprint to the shelter (or point beyond) and were still "in-the-zone" where they may have heard you, but it didn't register. I have this happen frequently, especially on difficult terrain where concentration is robust and I just don't hear people or if I do, I usually just smile or nod but do not say anything.

    It could also be they have run into talkative people at shelters (the Mary-Jane syndrome?) and had no interest in conversation. They could have been having a disagreement and had no interest in things outside of their issue.

    Sometimes there are clues to behavior that lead to a reasonable conclusion. Were they talking to each other as they passed? Did they keep on walking after you hailed them? Did they set up camp without talking to each other? Did they stay a while and was anything said after a short break? Did they speak English? Were they deaf? Lots of possible reasons, bad manners being among them of course.

    You observed appropriate manners in hailing or greeting the couple, being insistent about it could have possibly changed the context from friendly greeting to a person to be avoided. I would not read much into it.

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    12-01-2014
    Location
    bronx
    Age
    56
    Posts
    306

    Default

    If your friendliness is not reciprocated, just ignore and move on. Being over-friendly is just as bad as being under-friendly. Sometimes people just want to be left alone and that's OK. But not to respond to a friendly gesture with a quick "Hi" or at least a node of acknowledgment, it is just plain rude, that's my opinion.
    Last edited by stephanD; 04-01-2019 at 09:18.

  5. #5

    Default

    Well here goes! My first trip to Springer Shelter my hiking partner and I arrived and hung our hammocks a few yards behind the shelter out of everyone's way.All we wanted to do was use the picnic table to heat our dinners.

    There was a group of Millenials there,all had the same identical packs which were para military looking and all done in the exact same digital camo.We encountered what was obviously the leader and the first words out of his mouth were ,"How long do you intend to be here?"Then he explained he "had the shelter" as they had a big group coming after my reply that "we will be here until morning".Duh!We had just done the approach trail and I Know they walked up from the parking lot.Oh,and I told him there is no way we would sleep in the shelter anyway.

    Needless to say,they did not offer to let us use the table which was covered with their packs after we explained we were just looking for a place to fix our meal.So we sat on a 6 inch diameter log a few feet from the unused "pack holding table" to cook dinner and turn in.

    The rest of their group arrived and they partied loud and proud into the wee hours of the morning.
    It was all I could do not to go wake that jerk up and tell him we were sorry if we spoiled his party.

    The next time I encounter someone like that I do intend to ask to see their title.What title?The title that says they own the place!Shy people I understand,but rude people are deplorable.

  6. #6

    Default

    in situations like these it's not a bad idea to bang the pots early in the morning ;-) (just kidding)
    Let me go

  7. #7

    Default

    Defintely agree

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    12-01-2014
    Location
    bronx
    Age
    56
    Posts
    306

    Default

    Needless to say,they did not offer to let us use the table which was covered with their packs after we explained we were just looking for a place to fix our meal.So we sat on a 6 inch diameter log a few feet from the unused "pack holding table" to cook dinner and turn in.
    I like to think of myself as a friendly and easy going guy (at least i'm trying) but one thing that raises my blood pressure on the trail is when people are spreading their wares on the common picnic table

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    06-13-2007
    Location
    Hayesville, NC United States
    Age
    69
    Posts
    360
    Images
    1

    Default

    Old advice I've read here many times - never stay at a shelter or campsite an easy walk from a road. Those are the sites you are more likely to meet folks like you met.
    Sailor

  10. #10
    Registered User JPritch's Avatar
    Join Date
    02-03-2017
    Location
    Lynchburg, VA
    Age
    41
    Posts
    490

    Default

    OP, happens to everyone. Don't let it get to you. I've had more pleasantries and nice gestures not acknowledged than I can count. But if you take the mindset that you've done your part because you wanted to, and not because you expect anything in return, makes it easier to swallow. You were in my neck of the woods I see...that is one tough loop for sure. You start at 56 or up on the parkway?
    While searching for that unknown edge in life, never forget to look home. For the greatest edge you can find in life is to stand in the protective shadow of those who love you.

  11. #11

    Default

    We did a double lollipop/crooked lollipop. Started at Reid’s Gap Saturday morning and hiked the AT south and then Mau Hard north, slept at Maupin Saturday night, then woke up Sunday and hiked Mau Hard south and then connected with the AT north back to Reid’s Gap parking. Baller hike!! 99% sure I saw David Horton cycling by as we departed. I invited him to join us but he said the section was too hard!

    Quote Originally Posted by JPritch View Post
    OP, happens to everyone. Don't let it get to you. I've had more pleasantries and nice gestures not acknowledged than I can count. But if you take the mindset that you've done your part because you wanted to, and not because you expect anything in return, makes it easier to swallow. You were in my neck of the woods I see...that is one tough loop for sure. You start at 56 or up on the parkway?

  12. #12
    Registered User
    Join Date
    07-15-2018
    Location
    Pilot, Virginia
    Age
    64
    Posts
    80

    Default

    I agree with Five Tango that groups can be some of the more rude people you might encounter. School orientation groups during the month of August in Vermont are a good example. In the case of a couple, a likely scenario is that they were having a squabble; "in the midst of their own drama" as you said and not in the mood to be friendly with anyone. I think we all have awkward encounters. One of the worst for me was a millennial couple who would show up after dark and enjoyed chatting and cackling in front of the shelter until late at night while everyone else was trying to sleep. They showed no interest in mingling with anyone else. I finally decided to out-hike them so I would not have to deal with their shenanigans.

  13. #13

    Default

    A few weeks ago I stayed at White Mountains hut. I slept with earplugs so had no problem but at 5 am one group would get up for a hike and talk loud and make all kinds of noise. When confronted by someone their reply was: “what? So we can’t have any fun?”


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Let me go

  14. #14
    Registered User
    Join Date
    08-28-2007
    Location
    Georgia and Hawaii
    Posts
    17,863

    Default

    Be aware of managing your standards of state regardless of the state of others. When we do that we raise others whether it's acknowledged by them or not. Gandhi, MLK, Jesus,...

  15. #15
    KirkMcquest KirkMcquest's Avatar
    Join Date
    12-13-2005
    Location
    The Adirondacks
    Age
    46
    Posts
    957

    Default

    I would almost expect that kind of behavior from a young female, but for the man to behave that way is somewhat surprising. Even if I were in the midst of a bad fight with my wife, I would generally return a greeting from a stranger with as much cheer as I can muster.
    Throwing pearls to swine.

  16. #16
    Registered User ldsailor's Avatar
    Join Date
    02-25-2016
    Location
    St. Petersburg, FL
    Age
    70
    Posts
    559

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Five Tango View Post
    Needless to say,they did not offer to let us use the table which was covered with their packs after we explained we were just looking for a place to fix our meal.So we sat on a 6 inch diameter log a few feet from the unused "pack holding table" to cook dinner and turn in.
    I've encountered this before. I didn't ask - I told them to move their stuff. Works every time. Of course you get dirty looks when you do that, but I consider the source and smile to myself.

    As for the partying, after doing all but 315 miles of the AT, I have become pretty adept at knowing when a shelter or campsite should be avoided. If I was made aware of a large group taking over the shelter, I would have kept going. The next shelter NOBO was less than three miles.
    Trail Name - Slapshot
    "One step at a time."
    Blog - www.tonysadventure.com

  17. #17
    Registered User
    Join Date
    10-27-2003
    Location
    northern whites
    Posts
    3,923

    Default

    When I section hiked I avoided the bubble most of the time and tended to be out of synch from thruhikers usually a few weeks ahead of the bubble or in the fall. On several occasions we would be at a shelter or arrive at a shelter and see generally newby hikers who thought that when they got their the shelter was theirs for themselves. On occasion when they didn't offer to make room we would assist them to make it. On occasion they would say very little or nothing I guess hoping we would go away.

    At one shelter in NJ in the early spring we came upon a shelter with two ladies that literally had price tags and stickers still on their gear. One of them was polite but the other one would glare and practically hiss at the polite one if she said anything. They had a brand new whisperlight and it was obvious they had never used it. They tried lighting it several times and eventually the polite one looked over. I asked if they needed some help and got the glare from the other one but pointed out the primer cup from afar and suggested that they prime the stove and explained how to. It worked and they cooked in silence. They disappeared until dark, came back to the shelter, didn't say a word and didn't even move while we cooked breakfast packed up and headed out.

    I have gotten similar visitors in the off season and in one or two cases it was obvious they didn't like out company and headed out. I attribute it to newbys but on occasion I also have had thru hikers in Maine who obviously thought it was below them to be social. My general observation over the year observing hikers in Gorham is the first 15% of the thru hikers in town are out for speed/endurance and cant be bothered to socialize, the middle 70% are out to enjoy themselves and the final 15% are so far behind they aren't having fun anymore if they have made it to Gorham.

  18. #18
    Registered User
    Join Date
    04-02-2013
    Location
    Pensacola, Florida
    Posts
    603

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chknfngrs View Post
    Was at Maupin Field Shelter on Saturday afternoon after finishing a classic Mau-Hard Trail/Appalachian Trail loop. Sitting at the picnic table next to the freshly fallen giant tree, a youngish looking male/female couple came up from Campell Creek. I gave a warm hello to the female hiker, who didn’t answer. Followed just a few steps by her boyfriend or spouse and also offered a hello. No answer. It was downright odd to be given the cold shoulder like that, but raises the question of “Should I have been more insistent”. It’s likely they were having a bad hair day or something. Or they forgot their water filter, or in the midst of their own drama. But wishing they said “Hello” back so I wouldn’t be worried about them two days later.

    Ever had an awkward encounter like this?!
    Sounds like they were too occupied with their own selves to be polite. Some people are just rude that way.
    Time is but the stream I go afishin' in.
    Thoreau

  19. #19

    Default

    One of the greatest pleasures on trails is the friendliness and general improvement in people that seems to occur in the backcountry. Very few asses, but some people bring the flawed culture of "civilization" to the woods.

    You did the right thing. They probably weren't people you wanted to converse with anyway.

  20. #20

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dogwood View Post
    Be aware of managing your standards of state regardless of the state of others. When we do that we raise others whether it's acknowledged by them or not. Gandhi, MLK, Jesus,...
    Absolutely. Always do the right thing and try not to be judgmental. NO ONE knows what others are experiencing. Last year, I got news of the death of a loved one while I was on top of Newton Bald. Maybe they didn’t respond but will later remember the warm greeting as a positive.

Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 4 5 LastLast
++ New Posts ++

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •