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  1. #21
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    01-12-2011
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    Chattanooga, TN
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    42
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4eyedbuzzard View Post
    While I ultimate chose NOT to hike, I was in a similar situation to yours back in the early-mid 1990's. 35-40 years old, mid-career, 4 young children. I had left a thru at around 500 miles in the late 1970's. My wife was supportive, but truthfully with some reservations (don't under-estimate how tough it is on the spouse that "stays behind" while one is away fulfilling what is ultimately a very selfish endeavor). We were pretty well off financially, but even so, the opportunity cost when added to the spousal burden was what eventually made it a no-go. We figured the opportunity cost of the hike was somewhere around 7 to 8 months of lost income coming directly out of savings. Ongoing fixed/family expenses, PLUS the cost of the hike, all had to come out of savings. A half-year worth of income today is a LOT of money 20 years from now at compounded interest. The attempt (and that is what it is, an attempt, with about a 25% success rate) would have cost about $30-35K OUT OF SAVINGS at the time. If I had taken the full 6-7 months time off, I would have roughly $135K less in retirement savings today. That can delay retirement by many years - and those years grow much more valuable as you get older.

    We (mostly I) weighed all the considerations, both identified and possible:
    Burden on spouse, children, family.
    TRUE long-term financial costs to family and self.
    Burden on hiker (homesickness, guilt leaving spouse/family).
    Probability of success (due to injury, trail burnout, family issues).
    Positive/negative effects of thru-hiking vs section-hiking.

    Made the decision not to go and just section-hike more. Regrets? Or, more accurately, wondering what if? Sure. Life is a series of choices. Lots of them. You can't do everything or choose both roads. So, you always wonder what if. The possibilities are endless. But potential outcomes are both good and bad. And you'll never know.

    Dogwood brings up the advances in tech that can potentially lessen some of the "being away" aspects of doing this. To what degree this helps, I don't know. I doubt it would change my decision making, but it may for others.

    Everybody's desires and situation are different. Good luck on your decision whichever way it goes.
    Thanks a lot for that thoughtful response, a lot of good points.

  2. #22
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    01-12-2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by MuddyWaters View Post
    ^precisely.

    Im glad someone said this. Most just beat around bush.
    I said this actually, in my original post. I understand that this is selfish, that's why I'm on here to hear about other people's experience with it.

  3. #23

    Join Date
    05-05-2011
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    state of confusion
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    Quote Originally Posted by RyanK817 View Post
    I said this actually, in my original post. I understand that this is selfish, that's why I'm on here to hear about other people's experience with it.
    Most years recently, im able to go somewhere for about 3-4 week long hikes at a time. In addition to a few shorter 1 week like trips in spring/fall I can do it since my kids started driving and were self sufficient. With them in college and grad school now, they arent a concern. It still imposes hardship on wife with 4 animals to look after though, and even now I wouldnt subject her to that for 6 mo for a personal vacation.

    I spent 7 mo working overseas as well last yr.....but thats work. And daughter was home with wife in that time waiting for grad school program to start. So wife had both someone to fall back on if say, car broke, and help with animals.

    No way i could have been gone months when kids were 7-16. Always involved in school activities, competitive sports, scouts, etc. Life is spent driving kids around, one parent cant do it. Nothing is worth shorting your kids lives, or missing out on them growing up. IMO.

    Just throwing out considerations. Thats all anyone can do. No two persons circumstances are alike. Perhaps your kids arent involved in any activities, live in small community with no where to go or nothing to do , wife has lots of family nearby, no animals....the equation changes.
    Last edited by MuddyWaters; 01-01-2019 at 23:39.

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by RyanK817 View Post
    I said this actually, in my original post. I understand that this is selfish, that's why I'm on here to hear about other people's experience with it.
    100% SERIOUS, if you are anticipating doing this as a selfish act you should NOT be doing it! That's no way for a responsible supportive family oriented non selfish 'connected' man with a family with a wife and two children to behave. It's acting against your nature and family's best interests. It will cause family and personal conflict! That's a conflicted wrong way to approach any hike for anyone but especially so in your(plural) position. Don't do it! Don't try to justify it. And, if a section hike is approached or perceived that way you shouldn't do that either! A hike shouldn't be thought as an alienated selfish unconnected affair for anyone. Don't let a hike of any length become a wedge in your family.


    Again, if your family aren't able to get to the point of approaching, organizing, and perceiving a hike as a family all having input and engagement it's wrong for you to do this. You're conflicted in your goals, having too many masters. I will not be part of spinning anything on your selfish behalf so you can act or justify your selfishness!



    If that is the way your family and you intend to do this what it boils down is YOU are asking ask to help you justify and excuse selfishness to ease emotional feelings of being selfish. You should feel ashamed.

  5. #25

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    How did that make you feel when I said that? Did it make you angry at me for having that opinion? Did you recoil? Now, what if you or any of your family members had that opinion that perception of what you are anticipating living it out? I'm just a a hole jag off anonymous to you blogger. Those are your loved ones with whom you live. Neither your family nor you want to feel that way should you embark on a perceived alienated disconnected purely selfish hike.

  6. #26
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    01-23-2016
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    Virginia
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    30
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    David "AWOL" Miller (author of The A.T. Guide) hiked while his kids were pretty young. His AT memoir "AWOL on the Appalachian Trail" (different from the guidebook) might be a good book to read for a detailed firsthand account of a hike in your circumstances.
    A.T. 2018 Thru-hiker
    Follow along at www.tefltrekker.com

  7. #27
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    04-13-2014
    Location
    Traverse City, MI
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    107

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    You're very lucky to have an understanding wife, employer AND to be located in a state that is close to the trail. Might be tougher if you further away. Hope you can make it happen, best of luck to you. Keep us posted.

  8. #28

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    I can move this thread for you if you ask. Doing so will self-select your answers to what is a very important question for you.

    Until then, you said hiked 800 miles with your wife already. You probably hiked about 2 months or so. What do you expect to get out of a thruhike now? A lot more costs involved.

    Did you know that you only have 1300-1400 miles left to go? Lots of upsides to section hiking.

    Have you ever heard of the Benton Mackaye Trail? You could thruhike that or may I introduce a more rewarding endeavor? Section hike it with your kids and wife.

    Be the dad brother.
    "Sleepy alligator in the noonday sun
    Sleepin by the river just like he usually done
    Call for his whisky
    He can call for his tea
    Call all he wanta but he can't call me..."
    Robert Hunter & Ron McKernan

    Whiteblaze.net User Agreement.

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