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Thread: Fruitcake?

  1. #1
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    Default Fruitcake?

    Talk about my worlds colliding - funny article in wsj about long distance hikers eating fruitcake, complete with quotes from some famous (well, famous in our world) hikers...

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/finally...uel-1514474908 (subscription may be required)

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    Fruitcakes are the ultimate multi-use item.

    Food, fire starter, mortar to patch holes in trail shelters, weapon, emergency tent stake anchor, bear repellent
    (at least 4 "nuisance" bears were immediately reformed when a single un-wrapped fruitcake was left in the open
    at the Spence Field Shelter last summer, and several hikers reported sows abandoning their cubs in the Shenandoah
    as soon as they spotted a Claxton wrapper attached to a trekking pole.)

    However, there are significant drawbacks to the fruitcake diet.

    • Ultralight hikers must abandon all their equipment in order to stay under a 12lb base weight
    (and this is only carrying one fruitcake) so there is increased risk of hypothermia. However, they
    do save money, since they only need to resupply once every three weeks, decreasing town visits.

    • Some hikers report significantly decreased mileage due to the time spent digging cat holes every
    300 yards, while others have difficulty fitting the warehouse-club sized bundle of toilet paper in their pack
    that is needed to manage the digestive "issues" that can present themselves. REI sales numbers
    indicate a surge in 105L packs among fruitcake proponents.

    • Those hauling "proper" home-made fruitcakes rarely cover more than a few hundred feet between
    snacks, finding it difficult to balance a pack full of fruitcake while inebriated. They invariably stop to
    let the effects wear off and end up taking an extended nap. When they awake due to hunger pangs they
    take another bite and the cycle continues. The one advantage to this is that, with a little planning, you can
    use the same camp fire for up to four nights in a row. One hiker set off from Springer May 20 last year and had to
    leave the trail at Hightower Gap due to Hurricane Irma. He still had two of the six fruitcakes he started out
    with.
    Last edited by KCNC; 12-29-2017 at 09:48. Reason: typo

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    Lol... Some of my thoughts exactly!

  4. #4

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    This has to be in the Humor Forum.

    Fruitcake sucks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dogwood View Post
    This has to be in the Humor Forum.
    Fruitcake sucks.
    It's hard to believe....

    "That’s welcome news to Jack Haskel, a long-distance hiker who regularly carries slices of the maligned dessert in his backpack. “It is tastier and oh so much better than an energy bar,” says the 34-year-old trail information manager in Sacramento, Calif., who buys fruitcakes during the holidays to take on hikes."

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    My grandmother made an honest-to-goodness edible fruitcake. It is the panforte mentioned in the article. It was delicious.
    Paul "Mags" Magnanti
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    The true harvest of my life is intangible...a little stardust caught,a portion of the rainbow I have clutched -Thoreau

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mags View Post
    My grandmother made an honest-to-goodness edible fruitcake. It is the panforte mentioned in the article. It was delicious.

    I knew that was coming from you. Grandma made a delicious fruitcake.

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    I read that story this morning and thoroughly enjoyed it. I think fruit cake weighs more than bricks. Must be loaded with calories and dripping with brandy ! I have a friend who is a Navy Seal and suggested air drops every day. Of course if it hit you on the head it would kill you.

  9. #9

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    I made a couple of fruit cakes recently. Cost a small fortune to make. It came out really good. One of my friends said it tasted just like the ones his Aunt used to make. After giving away samples to friends and nibbling on it, I've pretty much went through both of them before I could take any camping.
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    I recently researched a company that's one of the only two providers of the candied fruit that goes into these things... it's a shrinking but high margin business. That's why it costs a fortune to make these cakes.

    For some reason, I think that someone is playing an early April fools joke on us ... can't imagine carrying these bricks!

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    As I recall from reading his book - a snack size fruitcake was a staple of Ed Garvey's.
    "Too often I would hear men boast of the miles covered that day, rarely of what they had seen." Louis L’Amour

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    I couldn't read the article because I don't have a subscription but here is one about a recently discovered 100 year old fruitcake in Antarctica that is "almost edible".

    https://news.nationalgeographic.com/...tt-terra-nova/
    If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.

  13. #13

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    if it is almost edible, then they are saying it is as good as the day it was made?

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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasBob View Post
    I couldn't read the article because I don't have a subscription but here is one about a recently discovered 100 year old fruitcake in Antarctica that is "almost edible".

    https://news.nationalgeographic.com/...tt-terra-nova/
    "Almost edible" describes every fruitcake I've ever encountered. Soaked in rum, brandy, bourbon, or lighter fluid, it's all the same IMHO.

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    Default Fruitcake?

    Gethsemane fruitcakes from Kentucky are the one and only.
    You can walk in another person's shoes, but only with your feet

  16. #16

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    There is already some not so serious discussion of fruitcake going on at the “What did you get for Christmas?” thread.
    I make fruitcake for backpacking treks, but I cannot abide most of the store bought stuff. Especially if it has those phosphorescent candied fruits.

  17. #17

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    Fruitcake is the next big crypto-currency...stock up now!

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    FruitCoin!

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    Getting out as much as I can..which is never enough. :) Mags's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dogwood View Post
    I knew that was coming from you. Grandma made a delicious fruitcake.
    Damn skippy. I have a small bit of pride (!?) with the food culture I grew up with.
    Paul "Mags" Magnanti
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    The true harvest of my life is intangible...a little stardust caught,a portion of the rainbow I have clutched -Thoreau

  20. #20

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    If only fruitcake had the same exchange rate as Snickers.

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