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  1. #1
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    Default Advice? Couple thru hiking and friend wants to join for California

    Has anyone dealt with deciding to hike together as a couple and then a friend wants to join? I'm not sure they realize it will be mostly solo and that it takes some coordination (that members of the group might not be willing to do) to hike together and it's not realistic that we will all hike together the whole time?

    Wondering how to deal with friend who is unprepared and unrealistic

  2. #2

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    Yea, good chance that's not going to work for long. If they aren't receptive to subtle hints that they aren't welcome, you just have to be a bit more direct in explaining the facts of life. If it was an impulsive decision to join you when they found out about the trip, it may not be hard to talk them out of it.
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  3. #3

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    Honesty is the best policy, but three in a two person tent could be interesting.

  4. #4

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    Ah, the ole Two's a company, Three's a crowd.

  5. #5
    Registered User egilbe's Avatar
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    Its a big trail. He has his own gear, right? He probably wont last that long. California is a big state.

  6. #6

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    Explain exactly how it will work; you won't wait for him, or work on his schedule, that you'll be hiking 20+ miles a day, he better have his own gear and know how to use it, you won't be babysitting etc etc

  7. #7
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    No problem. Just set some very clear guidelines up front. Everyone carries their own gear. You establish a target schedule, aka you set the style. Everyone is free to come and go as they please. Now, in reality there is a huge difference between hearing you guys talk about the wonderful adventure you are about to take and pulling together the logics to make it a reality. It is even a bigger difference when compared to the harsh reality of the trail. I saw several groups fall apart shortly after the start due to one or more of the folks not having the same commitment to the cause.

    Another way of dealing with this especially if you have experience and they don't is set a criteria for coming along such as three weekend trips before the start and if they fail to meet the commitment then no go. Another way of dealing with it if this is for 2017.... permits are full.
    enemy of unnecessary but innovative trail invention gadgetry

  8. #8
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    Thanks all! These are the responses I hoped to receive and this is exactly what I've been doing. I fully believe he is capable both physically and mentally as well as with gear but yeah, just not 100% that he fully understands what he is taking on!

    Malto, great suggestion. There is absolutely nothing wrong with us carpooling and rallying to the trailhead but beyond that, even though I'm with my partner, I'm solo!

    The forum provides, the trail provides <3

  9. #9
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    reply below but thank you homie!

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by eggymane View Post
    Ah, the ole Two's a company, Three's a crowd.
    Not always...😮

  11. #11

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    Great to see a friend on the trail to mix things up. Enjoy it while it's of benefit to everyone involved
    That might be two days, that might be two weeks.

    Agree with clear expectations being needed!

  12. #12

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    If he's new to long distance backpacking, he's probably just feeling a bit nervous about what he's taking on. Once he's been out there for a few days, he'll probably be more comfortable going his own way, but the first week or two he will probably be wanting to stick pretty close. Easiest is simply to pick a destination up the trail and say, "We'll meet you there at the end of the day." Then you aren't forced to go in lock step.

    Most important is to make it clear what you are willing to do or not willing to do as semi-partners. i.e. if one of you gets injured or sick, does the other wait? If someone can't make it to the rendezvous at the end of the day, should the other person worry or wait or go back looking for the missing hiker?

    On both our CDT hikes we had friends with us at the beginning of the trail. One intended to thruhike, the other just was out for a few weeks. Because of the nature of the trail, we hiked together all day. On the first hike, our partner spent a lot of time waiting for us, but given high snow levels and hiking through grizzly country, he thought it worth it to have the company. When we were through the worst of the snow and snowmelt, he went ahead. On the second hike, our partner was the slow one. She ended up getting off the trail after a week because she didn't like the pressure to push her pace to keep up. We didn't say or do anything to make her feel unwelcome (I hope) but she knew she was slowing us down. Since we knew it was temporary, and it was at the beginning of our hike when we needed to ease into the miles gently, we were fine with it. We joined up with another hiker in southern Colorado for a few hundred miles travelling through the snow. In that case, we were completely self-sufficient and hiked our own paces but we usually ended up camping together. At one point when we went separate ways around a bad section (the Knife Edge) we had the problem of not knowing what to do when he didn't show up as expected. We hadn't discussed it. We were not sure whether to go for help, or just assume he had backed out. Fortunately, he did show up, just a little later than expected. Bottom line - talk before you go what you are willing to be responsible for, in your semi-partnership.

  13. #13
    Registered User Venchka's Avatar
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    Have you explained the 2017 PCT Facts of Life?
    Wayne
    Eddie Valiant: "That lame-brain freeway idea could only be cooked up by a toon."
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Venchka View Post
    Have you explained the 2017 PCT Facts of Life?
    Wayne
    I believe so, but what are you referring to?

  15. #15
    Registered User Venchka's Avatar
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    Snow. Snow. Lots of snow.
    And more snow.
    It was in all the papers.
    Oh. Wait. Nobody reads those anymore.
    Suffice to say that June in the Sierras might be more conducive to skiing than hiking.
    Unicorn hey?
    Have fun. Be safe.
    Wayne


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    Eddie Valiant: "That lame-brain freeway idea could only be cooked up by a toon."
    https://wayne-ayearwithbigfootandbubba.blogspot.com
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