Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 35
  1. #1
    Registered User dtp81390's Avatar
    Join Date
    03-12-2017
    Location
    Port Washington, WI
    Age
    29
    Posts
    14

    Default AT Planning and Questions

    So it has been a goal of mine to thru-hike the AT. As of right now there are a few things that I am curious about or have questions on.

    1. I wanted to do this endeavor sooner rather than later, like in the next 5 years. However, my wife is very reluctant to be left home for 6 months with 2-3 kids (all 8 or under). Both of our parents would be willing and able to help and or live with her that entire time. She wants me to wait until our kids are out of the house and then she would do it with me, but things are so uncertain 15 years from now. I guess my question is how many of you left your family and lives to hike the AT, did you miss any major milestones in your life or your family's life that you regret missing, what can I do to help convince my wife that I want to do this alone, at least the first time?

    2. From a lot of the stories I read, AWOL on the Appalachian, Dixie's videos on Youtube, there seem to be a lot of hostels and hotel stays. Is this typical? How many people have actually camped the entire trek? I really do not want the modern conveniences if I do this, I do not want to be eating at restaurants or staying at hotels? Any thoughts on this?

    This all I have for now I am sure that I will have more as I plan. Thank you for your input.

  2. #2

    Default

    IF you don't have your wife's support of the adventure now while the kids are young and she has to stay home and take care of them, regardless of who is around to help her out, DON'T GO. Unless you want to be a total selfish person. The fact that she wants to do it WITH you after the kids are grown should be satisfactory. Our son just turned 19 and I am actually going for 30 days with a friend this year but the thru hike will wait for when my husband is able to join me in a few years.

    as for the hotel stays, yep seems "typical." But like you, I do not really want that for my own trip. Neither does my husband when we hike together. We can certainly stay in a hotel any time we want now. We don't need to go hike for 3 days then stay in a hotel and then hike 3 more days. We LIKE to be in the woods.
    https://tinyurl.com/MyFDresults

    A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world. ~Paul Dudley White

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    02-01-2017
    Location
    Pietermaritzburg, South Africa
    Age
    60
    Posts
    469

    Default

    1. You first step is to determine exactly how many kids you have
    2. We are sociable creatures and being clean is one way to attract fellow homo sapiens. This is where hostels and hotels with hot showers and bubble baths come into play. Collecting sweat and grime for 6 months, and fighting off virulent rashes, is only for the brave. Wimps run to restaurants with phone and fork in hand in their quest to imitate civilization. Somewhere between the two lies a balance depending on the strength of your character.

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    10-29-2016
    Location
    Cavalier, North Dakota
    Age
    46
    Posts
    50

    Default

    I'm in the same boat, I could do it now but it would be best for my family if I waited 6 more year. So I'm just going to take a couple weeks each summer and hike sections of the AT and other trails as well. They way I look at it is that the things I learn over the next few years doing 100 mile or so section hikes will only make it easier for me when the time comes to thru-hike. And the best things is that my youngest daughter will be graduating high school in six years and has expressed interest in thru hiking with me before she starts college.

  5. #5

    Default

    lots of hostels and hotels. purely optional/as needed, so no issue there

    This is just my opinion below. Some may say to just go:
    "it's my goal to take a 6 month vacation" and leave my family doesn't work in my head, so I section hike. You could start with the long trail, john muir trail, etc. See how that goes for you. they'd run you around 20 days if you're an average hiker (including some transit)

  6. #6
    Registered User dtp81390's Avatar
    Join Date
    03-12-2017
    Location
    Port Washington, WI
    Age
    29
    Posts
    14

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TTT View Post
    1. You first step is to determine exactly how many kids you have
    2. We are sociable creatures and being clean is one way to attract fellow homo sapiens. This is where hostels and hotels with hot showers and bubble baths come into play. Collecting sweat and grime for 6 months, and fighting off virulent rashes, is only for the brave. Wimps run to restaurants with phone and fork in hand in their quest to imitate civilization. Somewhere between the two lies a balance depending on the strength of your character.
    The 2-3 kids remark is because we have 1 with 1 or 2 on the way, not sure until we get our next ultrasound.

  7. #7
    4eyedbuzzard's Avatar
    Join Date
    01-02-2007
    Location
    DFW, TX / Northern NH
    Age
    62
    Posts
    7,708
    Images
    27

    Default

    So you, a 26 year old ADULT MAN, want to leave your wife alone for 6 months to take care of YOUR newborn(s) babies and other child, and rely---IMPOSE---on your and her parents to also pick up on YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES, while YOU, THE FATHER, is off on a 6 month hiking vacation - and you came here looking for validation and support? Not from this hiker. Not even if you're independently wealthy.

  8. #8

    Default

    It really is not a good point in the timeline of your life to consider doing a thru. Sometimes you have to delay gratification. Congrats on your new child(ren).

  9. #9
    4eyedbuzzard's Avatar
    Join Date
    01-02-2007
    Location
    DFW, TX / Northern NH
    Age
    62
    Posts
    7,708
    Images
    27

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 4eyedbuzzard View Post
    So you, a 26 year old ADULT MAN, want to leave your wife alone for 6 months to take care of YOUR newborn(s) babies and other child, and rely---IMPOSE---on your and her parents to also pick up on YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES, while YOU, THE FATHER, is off on a 6 month hiking vacation - and you came here looking for validation and support? Not from this hiker. Not even if you're independently wealthy.
    Quoting my own post... Yes, it was harsh. But sometimes you have strip away the feel good stuff to keep life's realities in perspective. Thru-hiking is no where near as important as being a good father--and husband. And that starts with BEING THERE.

  10. #10
    Registered User evyck da fleet's Avatar
    Join Date
    09-24-2011
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Age
    48
    Posts
    511

    Default

    1) It sounds like you decided to put that goal on hold for twenty years within the past nine months. Especially if the Mrs wants to join you.

    2)There's a middle ground between staying in town every night and going 180 days without a shower. There's also a lot of shelters but you don't have to stay in any (except the Smokies).

  11. #11
    Registered User
    Join Date
    03-13-2016
    Location
    Rock island, Tennessee
    Posts
    182

    Default

    If I were your wife, I would be so, so pissed.

    Why do you get to be the only one with this dream? Why do you get to do it alone the first time, and maybe she can come in 15 years? Why is she the only one considering your children and your marriage? Why are you only worried about milestones in your children's lives and not, say, the stress and burden your wife will go through?

    Look, I just broke up with a thru hiker. We'd only been together a few months, but I've done lots of long sections. I *know* what the trail is like, and EVEN STILL we had such a hard time compromising on communication expectations. To think about leaving your wife with young kids when she wants to hike too... you can't imagine how hard that will be on her.




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  12. #12
    illabelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    06-25-2012
    Location
    Lurkerville, East Tn
    Age
    59
    Posts
    3,284
    Journal Entries
    1

    Default

    dtp,
    The question about leaving wife and kids comes up regularly. Details are different, but the WB consensus is consistent that leaving a young family behind for 5-6 months doesn't meet the definition of a "good father." That's hard to hear when you've been dreaming of a thru-hike. I would encourage you to consider becoming a section hiker. It's much easier to get support from your wife, your kids, your parents and in-laws, and even from the WB jury if you're only going to be gone a week or two. Gobs of people start out as thru-hikers and abandon the dream because it was too hard, too cold, too expensive, too boring, or too lonely. So go out for a weekend. Bring the older child as soon as he/she is able. Plan a family weekend camping trip before the baby[s] are born. Cultivate a love of the outdoors with your family. It's an investment that will pay off 5 years, 10 years, and 15 years from now. And who knows, once they get a taste of the AT bug, they may encourage your dream.

  13. #13
    Registered User
    Join Date
    11-13-2015
    Location
    Orangeville, Ontario, Canada
    Age
    69
    Posts
    405

    Default

    Solid clear advice, la.lindsey and illabelle.
    OP, think long on their thoughts.

    BTW, at 65 with prostate cancer under surveillance, my wife suggested I 'take a hike' in the very best of ways. I fulfilled a long desire to follow Spring northwards. While I had 45 days of amazing experiences, I'll never be so unfair again as to leave my partner of 47 years for that long. Her idea and for that I'm hugely grateful. But the next time will only with her if we ever get that possibility.

  14. #14
    Registered User AlyontheAT2016's Avatar
    Join Date
    08-25-2015
    Location
    Tallahassee, Florida
    Age
    28
    Posts
    138

    Default

    If I was about to have my third and my husband left me behind with our very young kids to go on a 6 month vacation, I would file for divorce.
    AT '16: 1,378 miles GA-NY

    trail journal
    // blog

  15. #15
    Registered User dtp81390's Avatar
    Join Date
    03-12-2017
    Location
    Port Washington, WI
    Age
    29
    Posts
    14

    Default

    If you all would have read my post the hike would be 5 to 6 years from now not next year. I am not insane to leave my wife with a newborn to go hike. I take my responsibilities as a father seriously. I am talking to her about this. She just only sees young adults and retirees hiking the trail so she does not see why I can't wait.

    It is just the uncertainty of the future that makes me want to tackle this before it is too late.

  16. #16
    Registered User dtp81390's Avatar
    Join Date
    03-12-2017
    Location
    Port Washington, WI
    Age
    29
    Posts
    14

    Default

    I know I don't need justification from all of you. I will hike when it is best for me and my family. I was just looking for people who left their family and job by to hike. I am listening to AWOL on the Appalachian and he did it when his kids were around 10 I think. I am just looking for thoughts from people who were in that situation because that is what I am proposing

  17. #17

    Default

    You might be able to get away with waiting 10 years. Or put the kids up for adoption.

    A thru hike isn't all it's cracked up to be. No reason you can't do shorter trips and in a few years you can bring along the kids.
    The AT - It has it's ups and downs...

  18. #18
    Registered User
    Join Date
    05-02-2014
    Location
    St. Louis, MO
    Posts
    1,260

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dtp81390 View Post
    If you all would have read my post the hike would be 5 to 6 years from now not next year. I am not insane to leave my wife with a newborn to go hike. I take my responsibilities as a father seriously. I am talking to her about this. She just only sees young adults and retirees hiking the trail so she does not see why I can't wait.

    It is just the uncertainty of the future that makes me want to tackle this before it is too late.
    Wait. It's too late?

    WTH? NOBODY TOLD ME???

    I blame this on a conspiracy...I just have to figure out who the conspirators are...

    Seriously though...too late? Get a grip, man.

  19. #19
    Registered User dtp81390's Avatar
    Join Date
    03-12-2017
    Location
    Port Washington, WI
    Age
    29
    Posts
    14

    Default

    I live no where near the AT so section hiking really isn't much of an option. Anybody can section hike. Not everyone can thru hike.

    I may have worded my it's too late comment wrong. I mean I want to live life to the fullest. Life is uncertain so always waiting for the perfect time to do something, that perfect time may never come and then you regret not trying to do it. The best time to move towards your goals is now.

  20. #20

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dtp81390 View Post
    I live no where near the AT so section hiking really isn't much of an option. Anybody can section hike. Not everyone can thru hike.

    I may have worded my it's too late comment wrong. I mean I want to live life to the fullest. Life is uncertain so always waiting for the perfect time to do something, that perfect time may never come and then you regret not trying to do it. The best time to move towards your goals is now.
    This applies to doing something five years in the future as much as it does 15 years in the future. Either one of these options would be considered "long term goals".

    Your responsibilities as a husband and father come first. If your life partner and wife isn't on board with the 5 year goal, you may need to adjust to the 15 year goal. Your conflict doesn't lie with the members of this forum, but with your wife. That's the place where your energy needs to be focused. Unless and until she agrees to the 5 year plan, all the other stuff is moot.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
++ New Posts ++

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •