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  1. #1
    Registered User piratekitty's Avatar
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    Default Ladies, how did you avoid unwanted Pink Blazers?

    I get really flustered when people try to flirt with me, and it tends to get interpreted as "I'm totally interested, please continue". I'm really not looking for anything beyond friendship right now, though, so how do I let pink blazers know that I'm not interested? I'm super shy and introverted and have a hard time telling people off.

    Help me, White Blaze! You're my only hope! (the AT subreddit is mostly male and... less than helpful on the subject)

  2. #2
    Registered User
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    04-21-2015
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    Default

    Wear an engagement ring or wedding band?

  3. #3
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    Default

    I changed my hiking schedule. And I called him out on some creepy behavior.

    There have been guys who were interested in me but I wasn't in them, but they weren't creeps. This is fine; they get the hint and stop.

    Then there are creepy guys who are more aggressive, and at that point, you can either enlist allies (tell other people you're hiking with what's going on, and please don't leave you alone with this dude) or be up front about it.

    At one point I said "_____ why are you always commenting on my body? It's weird. Please stop." He got that, and wasn't too much of an issue after that.

    I have had great success with trailmances, but I've *also* had terrible luck with creeps. It takes some time to get your nerve, for me at least.

    Most hikers are happy to stick up for you though.

    Ex: I traveled in a group of 4. One guy seemed nice, but got creepier. The other two always made sure I was sleeping between them, and one was always hiking with me. I was never alone at the shelter after I told them about his weird comments (guys are generally not good at picking up on this- I was even in a secret trailmance with one of them at the time, and he didn't pick up on it).

    Anyways, there you go. If you'd like to talk more specifics, feel free to PM me.


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  4. #4
    Registered User trailhermit's Avatar
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    Default

    Hmm, maybe a really gross looking pee rag would help.

    When I was younger I had problems with creepy guys. As I got older and more mature I realized being blunt and honest was the easiest way to get them to move on.

    At first you might feel bad, but it gets easier.

    Sent from my SGH-T399 using Tapatalk

  5. #5

    Default

    Out-hike them. Or let them get ahead of you and blow past all shelters for the next week or so in case they are waiting. Heed the advice about registers when doing this.
    Last edited by Alligator; 02-14-2017 at 23:42. Reason: Quoted post removed

  6. #6

    Default

    Hey dudes, stay off the thread, it was not addressed to you. Thanks.
    "Sleepy alligator in the noonday sun
    Sleepin by the river just like he usually done
    Call for his whisky
    He can call for his tea
    Call all he wanta but he can't call me..."
    Robert Hunter & Ron McKernan

    Whiteblaze.net User Agreement.

  7. #7

    Default

    PirateKitty -
    You said you're not comfortable telling people off and I understand that. Hopefully, one of the other ways of setting boundaries will work for you.

    I try to assess the individual situation to figure out my best response. Some guys can be sweet but clueless (think of Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber when he's telling her how interested he is and he thinks he has a chance because she says it's "one in a million") and other guys can be more predatory. If the situation is more of the sweet but clueless type, then being clear about the fact that I'm not interested - but not hurtful or mean - is my best approach.

    If the situation is more predatory, then I tend to do things like lying about where I'm stopping for the night or what resupply town I'll be using next. I will also reach out to other hikers if necessary because the trail is 99% great people and we are really good at looking out for each other. If I feel that someone might pose a safety risk, I will let others know that "he makes me uncomfortable and I don't want him to know where I'm camping." I'm not expecting anyone to start protecting me, it's just that they will help by not sharing my whereabouts with the guy in question and things like that.

    Good luck with a safe, hassle-free hike!

  8. #8
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    Default

    On my section last summer, I tried to establish friendly relationships with people who were clearly not candidates for pink blazing. Couples, old retired guys, etc. I'm introverted, too, but the basic introductory "where ya from, how's the hike going, etc" when sharing a picnic table was manageable even for me. I also tented near a shelter each night, and in July in Virginia, it was busy enough that I never had to worry about being alone with one guy. By hanging out either at the picnic table or within my tent, I was always either in a group or alone and inaccessible. Even if I was just reading or journaling and not socializing, by placing myself in the general vicinity of several other people, I deterred any would-be flirtation. This was never necessary for me, but I also imagine if I'd encountered any particularly clueless and/or shameless dudes willing to bother me in the company of others, there would have been plenty of old fatherly or motherly types to catch on and put a stop to it.

    That was my strategy in camp, anyway. I know some people don't care for the way hikers congregate at the shelters, but I liked knowing there were at least half a dozen people within hollering distance if I had any problems (human or animal or otherwise).

    I like solitude while hiking during the day, but I appreciate the sense of security from knowing there are friendly faces ahead and behind on the trail. I didn't have problems with guys wanting to walk with me, but I assume in that situation, it's good to have headphones and just claim you want to listen to music/podcasts/etc.

    In general though, I found way less unwanted male attention on the AT than I do in everyday life in a big city. Maybe it was the way I smelled, but I suspect (and hope?) it had much more to do with the fact that most people in the hiking community are actually just really great.

  9. #9

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    I had one guy who wanted to be more than friends, but I told him honestly that I wasn't interested and he backed off. Eventually I stayed behind in town when he moved on because it was still uncomfortable between us. Another male friend that I hiked with eventually ended up as my husband. There were a lot of couples who got together on the trail. So sometimes pink blazing can work out.

    I knew one young woman who hiked with a guy she wasn't at all interested in, but she used him as a shield of sorts. Guys don't usually push when someone appears to be involved with someone else. I knew another who hitched ahead and stopped posting in registers when a person just wouldn't accept no. Others join a group and become part of a trail family - there is safety in numbers.

  10. #10

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    Default

    Without letting your personal hygiene go, and your leg hair with it, I recommend that you practice with a friend turning men down. It sounds hookie but if you are uncomfortable with telling someone to leave you alone and they are harmless, imagine how hard it will be if they are not harmless.

    In my non-hiking life I am in the security/ law enforcement field. Preparing for the worst beforehand makes it easier if/ when.

    So like I said, find a friend male or female to practice with until you are a little more comfortable. Or prepare to get gross...

    ~Pamela

    “Not all those who wander are lost.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien, "The Fellowship of the Ring"

  11. #11
    Registered User AlyontheAT2016's Avatar
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    One time, in order to ditch a guy who had hiked with me for two days and was a little too pushy for my tastes (he was European, for what that's worth. Liked to hike right up behind me, even though he could have gone faster than me). I left the shelter at 5 am and hit the trail blazing fast for my longest day up to that point (22ish miles). I made it to a hostel that I hadn't said anything about, which was another half mile off the trail. This guy didn't like to do long miles, so I knew if I pushed again the next day, I'd never see him again.

    I never saw him again

    That was the only time I ever intentionally tried to lose a guy. After Pearisburg, I ended up hiking with a large group of guys who treated me like a sister and I never had anymore problems with creepy guys on the trail. You really just have to get to know people and keep those friendships floating around you, up and down the trail. People come and go as hiking paces and goals change, but I found it was quite easy to avoid people I wanted to avoid when I was hiking with a fun group. (I started April 23 intentionally to avoid the main bubble but I ended up in a smaller, later bubble and it made my hike that much more fun).
    AT '16: 1,378 miles GA-NY

    trail journal
    // blog

  12. #12
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    The creep factor is off the chain on these trails from what I am reading! Sucks to hear women must go through stuff like this. Your out here to get away from city life (some what) and the creeps just keep creepin.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by naysjp View Post
    The creep factor is off the chain on these trails from what I am reading! Sucks to hear women must go through stuff like this. Your out here to get away from city life (some what) and the creeps just keep creepin.
    ........ .....
    Last edited by Traffic Jam; 04-16-2017 at 15:13.

  14. #14
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    Default

    I admit I have never heard these terms before but I've never heard of a female referred to as a "Pink Blazer". Is there a place on the forum where I can learn all of these "trail terms" LOL

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by naysjp View Post
    I admit I have never heard these terms before but I've never heard of a female referred to as a "Pink Blazer". Is there a place on the forum where I can learn all of these "trail terms" LOL
    There's a list somewhere. Google "hiker slang" or something similar.

    Are you a novice hiker? Don't let the internet cloud your first impressions of hiking, hikers, and being outdoors. Go hike and form your own unadulterated, unbiased opinions. It's a much more joyful experience to view the outdoors through virgin eyes without everyone's baggage and opinions swirling through your brain.

  16. #16
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    I am more of a camper/Jeeper. Stay out for a few days and sleep under the starts with no electricity,toilets. I would like to start camping once I'm not sidelined w/ this this achilles tendon issue. I thought it would be nice to understand some of the terms.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by naysjp View Post
    I am more of a camper/Jeeper. Stay out for a few days and sleep under the starts with no electricity,toilets. I would like to start camping once I'm not sidelined w/ this this achilles tendon issue. I thought it would be nice to understand some of the terms.
    Meant to say I want to start hiking once this tendon issue subsides. We do more explorations once we get to the campsite.

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by naysjp View Post
    Meant to say I want to start hiking once this tendon issue subsides. We do more explorations once we get to the campsite.
    Good luck with the tendon!

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