HELP (or sleeping on the trail at night)

[imscotty]

Very few things bother me but one night I was awakened by by what sounded for all the world like the blood-curdling screams of a woman being brutally murdered. It went on for some time and was exacerbated by the cold winter air and the completely windless and moonless night. I figured it had to be some animal and so I got online and did some googling when I got home and tracked it down to THIS... and we do indeed have red fox in the woods around here. Skip to about 2:55 to hear something close to what I heard.

CMoulder, if you ever want your blood to curdle you should hear the scream the Fisher Cat makes. Sounds like a woman being murdered.

[joobert]

Because of the amount of people telling me to go to therapy, not go on the trail at all, and questioning my writing ( I can't blame you there)-- I should clarify...

A lot of that was meant to be humorous. Obviously that didn't work out--but did y'all ever, before you went on the trail, stay up unable to sleep, high off of the amount of trail journals and youtube videos you watched, the prospect of quitting your job, the excel sheets of budgets and gear and miles? That is where I was last night, giddy with plans and worries and laughing to myself about how clever my post was.

Something with the lack of sleep has also caused a bout of sleep paralysis lately, and the thought of that in the woods is unimaginable, especially with my fear. That being said, much of what I said was true. I don't genuinely think there will be inbred confederate ghosts attacking me at night. But I have a real fear I'll get out there and not like it.


The last time I backpacked was on the Lonestar Trail. We hiked out overnight. When I say we I mean me and my boyfriend, My boyfriend having absolutely zero camping experience at this point. (I mean zero as in I had to walk waving a stick in front of me to clear the path of spider webs, as he would just about **** himself every time one hit him in the face) It was fall and the giant pine trees around us were dead, their limbs breaking off in the distance making us jump every couple of minutes and look twice. Very quiet otherwise.

One thing to note about the Lonestar Trail--the forest backs into a state prison. Another thing--there are a set of bloggers who have detailed their terrifying big foot experiences, which I happened to read the night before. So I went in with those two things in the back of my mind and the mood was set. We were trying to hike next to a place called 'hidden lake' off the trail that I had been with a bigger group before, but with the overgrowth couldn't find it. So we made due in a small clearing with giant pines all around us, far away from the trail, and unsure of where we were as the sun started to go down.

The clearing was surrounded by coyotes. We heard them cackling all night, and they were close enough that we could hear them checking out our camp, a couple feet away as we slept. I've heard coyotes before, from the sanctuary of a hunting trailer and surrounded by my dad and brother with whatever guns they had in tow, but I had never had coyotes that close, unarmed, with a sheet of tarp to protect me. I couldn't help but google 'coyote attacks' on my phone and read "They won't attack UNLESS THEY ARE RABID" and told myself we were screwed as there has got to be at least one rabid coyote out of the 20 or so that were laughing maniacally so close to us.

I can't explain the panic I felt that night. It wasn't just the coyotes and the sounds, but all the pine trees and solitude of it, me being quite inexperienced myself and my boyfriend even more so. It was the first time I had gone without a group of experienced 'outdoors wo/men.' I genuinely thought I was going to have a heart attack; I had never felt that terrified before in my life.

The next morning as we hiked out, we came upon a long clearing with two huge caterpillar machines abandoned at the very end (Parts of the trail are hired out to logging companies) and it all seemed to crash down and felt horrifying. I made my boyfriend almost jog the 10 miles--which was a lot for us--back to the car, and we made it in a third of the time that it took to get to the camp.

That's the thing--it was the first time I didn't feel at peace in nature. I always thought I was a... I don't know, 'nature person.' That nature is where I belonged. It was such a surreal experience. I had been backpacking before, with large groups and usually in the spring, but never like that. And it made me question if I do love the outdoors as much as I think I do. I was in awe at the amount of terror I felt.

I've gone hiking plenty of times since, and everyone and a while I'll feel that terror. Always at night, and it truly feels unbearable. I think the biggest concern is that I'll feel that same kind of fear . That I will get out there and won't like it, after all of these images of finding myself, of peace, of living life on my terms--that instead I'll shrink with that same kind of terror I felt before and come running back home.



That being said--to everyone who has said "You'll get used to it" that was what I was looking for with the manic post I wrote before, so thank you. I kind of just want people to tell me that they were scared too, but it wasn't a big deal. That it's normal to feel this way and that I'm not a pussy, and maybe I can be a 'nature person' myself. I'll admit I just want reassurance.

Sorry for writing so much. Maybe this is replacement for therapy. Thanks for reading.

[la.lindsey]

Ok but maybe before you quit your job, get to the point where you, personally, are not panicked.

Because I freak myself out for a second or two every now and then in the dark, but not that sort of 10 paragraph panic.

Just some internet advice. Which is what you asked for. Not "please tell me if you also get scared in the woods," which is not what you asked for.


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[booney_1]

If you want you can spend most nights in an AT shelter. Especially if you get an early start in the morning. You will be with other people and the shelters are much more substantial than sleeping in a tent.

Years ago in Scout camp deep in the Adirondacks of NY where we slept in tents a bear came into our camp one night when we were sleeping. I could hear it moving and snuffling around. When it was just outside my tent I was paralyzed with fear. It was the type of fear where you cannot move and you break out in a cold sweat.

So I understand the type of fear you are talking about You may never be comfortable in tents, but shelters have a totally different feel.

[ScareBear]

I was thinking a small flask of whiskey? What about benadryl?

Don't mix Benadryl and whiskey....

If you weigh under 120 pounds, try one Benadryl(25mg) 1/2 hour before bed. If that doesn't work, or you are over 120, you can bump up to 2 pills. Be aware that your body will develop a tolerance to the sedative effect of Benadryl rather quickly(two weeks), so it isn't a long-term solution. However, some folks are bothered by stuffy noses on the trail, so if that keeps you up, keep on with the Benadryl...

If you anxiety is so strong that you can't sleep, you can see your physician about a benzodiazapene like Valium for night time use. No whiskey with these either...just sayin...

Take a pass on the prescription Lunesta and other such prescription sleep aids. You don't want to experience sleep walking on the AT in the dark, just sayin...

[rocketsocks]

CMoulder, if you ever want your blood to curdle you should hear the scream the Fisher Cat makes. Sounds like a woman being murdered.

Fiser cats making a come back here in jersey

http://www.njherald.com/article/2016...CLE/302199996#

[Venchka]

I quit reading when I got to "YouTubes and Trail Journals".
I went out and slept in tents, leantos or under a blue tarp before Al Gore invented the Internet.
Maybe I was just too stupid to be afraid.
Good luck. You're going to be fine.
Wayne


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[Puddlefish]

We don't have ghosts out east. You're good.

[kayak karl]

If you are still afraid, seek help.
Attachment 38021
Good luck!
Wayne

seriously....just stay out of the woods then. don't want any packing nervous nellies out there

[Venchka]

seriously....just stay out of the woods then. don't want any packing nervous nellies out there

You'll take all the fun out of life.
Grinning.
Wayne


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[orthofingers]

As someone mentioned in an earlier post, look up Craig M. (His trail name was Spielberg) on YouTube and his series from his 2016 AT NOBO. He had a lot of fear about sleeping alone, sleeping in a tent etc. and he is quite articulate about explaining those fears. It may help you to realize that it's a normal feeling, obviously stronger in some than others but, unless it ends up overwhelming you to the point of ending your hike, you will get used to it and it will recede into the back of your head to the point where it won't bother you. What do psychologists call that? Exposure therapy?

(Also, Craig M. does a great job with the video of his hike. I believe he did everything . . . recording, editing and uploading with just an iPhone 6.)

[Bronk]

Most people are afraid to be alone. It is perfectly normal. That's why when I go out in the woods looking for some solitude and camp in an abandoned campground with 40+ campsites, all nearly identical, and one other person shows up they have to set their stupid tent up right next to mine. Because they are afraid to be alone. If you want to be around other people, then don't go places where people go to be alone.

[ScareBear]

Most people are afraid to be alone. It is perfectly normal. That's why when I go out in the woods looking for some solitude and camp in an abandoned campground with 40+ campsites, all nearly identical, and one other person shows up they have to set their stupid tent up right next to mine. Because they are afraid to be alone. If you want to be around other people, then don't go places where people go to be alone.

LMAO! I've never had this happen...but I'd be like "Hi, ummmm...I just want to warn you that I snore and sleepwalk."

[Sandy of PA]

It happened to me also. They brought along 2 untrained dogs they let wander all night, I woke up to their Pitt Bull growling at me through noseeum net. I learned not to use campsites if I want to be alone!

[ScareBear]

It happened to me also. They brought along 2 untrained dogs they let wander all night, I woke up to their Pitt Bull growling at me through noseeum net. I learned not to use campsites if I want to be alone!

Oh FFS! That is ridiculous. Did you have a hiking pole in your tent? Or whistle?

[Sandy of PA]

I just told them to call their dog, actually the Pitty was friendly, their Chocolate Lab tried for my leg as I hiked out! Stealth camping is the best for sleep, If no one can see you, no one will bother you.

[MtDoraDave]

Benzo's, really? I could tell you guys a great story about Benzo addiction, what it did to him, and his swearing that it is harder to kick than heroin.

I digress.

I, too, sleep poorly on the trail. I've only spent a week at a time on the trail, so perhaps more than "a few days" is required to become comfortable sleeping in the woods at night.

Yes, the noises are amplified. The chipmunk sounds like a bear. The tree rubbing its neighbor sounds like a raccoon going for your food bag. Just as you're about to drift off to sleep, a noise - the adrenaline spike - and wide awake again. Even with benedryl.

Going for the obvious here, step one would be get rid of your "air purifier" (noise machine). Perhaps even open your bedroom window to allow strange noises to enter. You're still in the comfort and safety of your own bed, in your bedroom - but you can become accustomed to not having the artificial noise maker while you're in a familiar setting.

Step two would be sleep outside in your tent - depending on where you live... some condos, apartments, or even neighborhoods, it would simply be a bad idea to do this.

I know the mantra around here is HYOH (hike your own hike), but if you are going to bring a portable noise maker, please be considerate of others and use ear buds.

[Water Rat]

That being said--to everyone who has said "You'll get used to it" that was what I was looking for with the manic post I wrote before, so thank you. I kind of just want people to tell me that they were scared too, but it wasn't a big deal. That it's normal to feel this way and that I'm not a pussy, and maybe I can be a 'nature person' myself. I'll admit I just want reassurance.

There are many who are afraid to sleep outside at night. In that, you are not alone. I personally am very comfortable outdoors, but I grew up backpacking.

How to get over that will vary from person, to person. In an earlier post, I suggested making a recording of your air circulation system (since that sound soothes you) and play it to yourself via headphones when you are trying to fall asleep. That white noise sounds like it is your "security blanket." Nothing wrong with that - many people have to have a certain weight of blanket on top of them, or sleep better with a certain background noise. So, start with that. It will help relax your brain as it is a familiar sound.

I would also suggest getting back out there. Start with an overnight, but not with your boyfriend. Part of your terror was due to your boyfriend's fear. His fear amped your fear and it snowballed from there. You need to go out there with someone who has experience sleeping outdoors and is not worried to do so.

Find a local backpacking group/hiking group and do an overnight with people you feel comfortable around. Slowly work your way up to longer trips. If you surround yourself with others who are out there, but who don't have your same fears, that might help you to work your way through this fear. I am in no way mocking you when I say this... Your brain just needs to be convinced that just because you hear a coyote, does not mean a rabid coyote will attack. Just because it gets dark does not mean axe murderers run rampant. While your brain knows these things in daylight, it sometimes needs reassurance after dark. The only way to get through this one is to just get out there and prove your brain wrong. Nighttime noises always sound 400x bigger than they actually are (a mouse will sound like a grizzly bear), but that does not mean everything is out to attack you just because you are in a tent and happen to be outdoors.

You have the ability to get used to it, but you have to get out there to do so. Figure out what calms you - background noise recording, so you don't hear outside noises, or maybe a small light you leave on? Start there...Eventually you might not need to take along the security blanket.

[Dogwood]

If you're at peace during the day hiking how about stopping for a day time siesta to accustom yourself to sleeping in the woods at night. Find a secluded grassy knoll or flat outcrop with a view. Close your eyes and actually try to hear the sounds and experience the sensations of Nature not see them as symptoms that must be masked. Suggestions: accustom by sleeping near running water like a brook or waterfall or on a ridge with some light wind taking in the sounds of the whispering pines, try hammocking(it's like being back in the safe sanctuary of the mother's womb), ascertain what appeals to you by alternately sleeping around others and in locations with solitude, take a melatonin pill on a temporary basis before sleep until you accustom to sleeping in Nature in peace, and drink some Sleepy Time w/ Chamomile or Traditional Medicinals w/ Passion Flower tea in camp before bed.

If not able you may be a Joe Pesce My Cousin Vinny case. Might be time to seek healthcare advice in which case I'd suggest you not immediately seek it out from those with a proclivity to send you on your way with scripts for pharmaceutical drug sedatives that aim to address just your symptoms. Find out the cause of your restlessness and address them so you can be cured not just manage symptoms.

Food for consideration:

Proverbs 3:21-26

My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight,
preserve sound judgment and discretion;
22 they will be life for you,
an ornament to grace your neck.
23 Then you will go on your way in safety,
and your foot will not stumble.
24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
25 Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
26 for the Lord will be at your side
and will keep your foot from being snared.

The unlined outcome is conditional.

When I'm walking as I know I should - in trust, in faith, with wisdom, in line with my source - who I call God - I sleep soundly and awaken refreshed no matter the external circumstances.

It's at times when I'm not that I have troubled sleep.

[Dogwood]

Why would you want to "acclimate" yourself to fear? Overrule it with something else - faith, knowledge, wisdom, peace, joy, gratitude, and being a cheerful giver.

Might want to recognize yourself as blessed being able to backpack and sleep in Nature with a clear conscious and heart.