How to get on the trail when the world seems against you?

[Starchild]

Several things, but what you are asking is in the path of spiritual growth. It was similar to my AT thru in some ways.

You need not convince them that the trail is safe, you need to convince them that are not going to stop you from hiking it and living your life as you need to live it, as it is something you need to do. Not doing so would be a death sentence for you (death in a spiritual sense, basically not living the life you were meant to live).

You may in this to convince them that you are capable of this journey, in the sense that many people have done it (and not in the safety sense - again don't go there, don't let them control the conversation that way), but just make the point that even a blind person thru hiked it, and that the trail is very well traveled to the point that everything is laid out to walk.

You may also cut them off on the basis that they need to accept you for who you are, if they do not than they don't know you and you don't care to associate with people who don't accept you for who you are.

Add to this prayer if you can to the degree you can involve it. In this (and using a multi-faith view), you are a child of God, not your parents child, in that pray to God to allow you to go and to open that door and to provide. In this you may find a path to walk, support for you and who you really are, and doors flying open to allow you to go. In this last item, by following this path, I found a new friend, quite out of the blue, 5 months out from my thru hike that drove me down to GA, and picked me up from ME, her offer set the start date. I also got overwhelming support for my AT Thru from about 50 people who I emailed from the trail who sent money, care packages, and paid for stays (and had me stay over with them where practical). I found a overwhelming level of support for who I am and what I was doing, much opposite of my dad who tried to dissuade me (he now supports that I did it).

I also found overwhelming support on the trail.

Good luck

[dudeijuststarted]

To trolls and non-trolls alike in this person's situation: Please don't attempt a thru-hike. There is nothing in it for you.

[Malto]

1) Stop looking for everyone's approval. You are 41.
2) People looking to gofundme for vacations get universally ridiculed. There has been multiple threads here on just that subject.
3) You need x dollars to hike. Two Options: increase income or decrease expenses. Can't get a better job, get a second job. You are not entitled to a multi-month vacation just because you want it.

[Sarcasm the elf]

In regards to your question of how to stop your family's overactive imagination about dangers on the trail: Youtube is your friend. Carefully select a few hiker video blogs that show how safe and social (even crowded) the trail is during peak season and send them the links. Do make sure to stay away from the couple of popular youtube channels run by partiers/stoners, not that I'm judging them but they're not the videos that you want to show to your family.

[Cedar1974]

In regards to your question of how to stop your family's overactive imagination about dangers on the trail: Youtube is your friend. Carefully select a few hiker video blogs that show how safe and social (even crowded) the trail is during peak season and send them the links. Do make sure to stay away from the couple of popular youtube channels run by partiers/stoners, not that I'm judging them but they're not the videos that you want to show to your family.

Thank you for this idea. I follow several of the more respectable youtube hiker channels, and will send them links.

[Cedar1974]

Several things, but what you are asking is in the path of spiritual growth. It was similar to my AT thru in some ways.

(Cut for length)

I also found overwhelming support on the trail.

Good luck

Thanks, I needed to hear that kind of encouragement right now.

[Cedar1974]

To trolls and non-trolls alike in this person's situation: Please don't attempt a thru-hike. There is nothing in it for you.

REally? If that's so, why did you do it?

[TJ aka Teej]

The World is not against you.
Seriously dude, you're not that important.

[rhjanes]

What is this associates degree in? What I'm getting at is, I see a lot of people with degrees for "growth" when there is zero job market for those skills. I had an interesting conversation with our now-25 year old....she did NOT follow that path. Has a terrific talent, went to school to further it and has a great job that she loves (and they love her.....gave her over $10,000 in raises last year....they don't want to even think about loosing her artistic skills).
So on the family worry front. My wife and family also raised that up as major concerns when a year ago, I told them I was heading to Arkansas for a 40+ mile, multi-day hike.....ALONE this time. (I didn't plan/arrange for other hikers to be with me, as in all other hikes). But the prior hike before that, the guy I hiked with had a SPOT device. he said it was EXACTLY for what I had told him on the ride up. "My wife and family raise all stink about me going alone". I came back and researched and decided to get the Delorme InReach. I went this last June up on my trip, alone. My wife LOVED it! She got twice a day text, over the GPS from me. She could see exactly where I was on the InReach map. AND, she could text me back. No more 'I don't think you should go alone....".

[illabelle]

1) Stop looking for everyone's approval. You are 41.
2) People looking to gofundme for vacations get universally ridiculed. There has been multiple threads here on just that subject.
3) You need x dollars to hike. Two Options: increase income or decrease expenses. Can't get a better job, get a second job. You are not entitled to a multi-month vacation just because you want it.

^Well said.

Cedar,
1) agree
2) agree
3) agree, but don't set your heart on a thru-hike or "multi-month vacation." Go out this weekend and hike. Be a section-hiker, or weekend warrior. By the time you get it all together, you may be physically incapable of thru-hiking, or you may be tied down caring for someone else who needs you. We all had dreams when we were younger that just don't work out. Career, family, health, finances... Don't stop dreaming, but don't keep dreaming either. Wake up! Adjust to life as it is, not how you want it to be.

Your story reminds me of one of my brothers. He's approaching 60, but has never been fully independent. I'm sure your circumstances are different from his, so I won't pretend that I somehow have the formula for your life. I will say you don't need an education to make something of yourself. Look around you. You see something that needs to be done? Do it. Make yourself useful.

[Cedar1974]

The World is not against you.
Seriously dude, you're not that important.

Doesn't make it feel any less true though. Sorry, just in a bad mood today, and everyone telling me to get a life and a second job (which down here doesn't exist)doesn't really help. Heck I was lucky to find the first job.

[Bronk]

The thing is you don't convince them. You don't have to. You're an adult. Asking them to pay for it is another thing altogether, but you don't need their permission or approval. Just scrape the money together and go. End of discussion.

This topic comes up on here quite a bit. The bottom line is that in most cases you won't overcome the resistance of family or friends. You won't change their mind. The only question is are you strong willed and independent enough to live your own life or are you going to cave in to whatever your mommy tells you you're allowed to do for the rest of your life.

[Odd Man Out]

People's fear of hiking is not rational, so addressing it by rational means is probably not going to work. If it were that easy you would only have to point out that the death rate from all causes for AT Hikers each year is very low (impossible to get a firm number, but it is close to zero). In all of the AT states, there have been only 7 people killed by bears in the last 115 years (I believe that none were AT hikers). But in Alabama alone there there are more than 800 fatalities by automobile each year (particularly relevant for a delivery driver). Nation wide about 30 people are killed each year by falling furniture. More than that are accidentally shot by toddlers with a gun. By removing yourself from cars, furniture, and toddlers, your chance of accidental death drops significantly while hiking. Unfortunately most people suck at doing rational cost-benefit analyses. Your best bet is to take the advice offered above and just ignore what other people think (see Malto's #1).

[Lnj]

I'm not asking for money, not anymore. I have a job (though not the best one) and I am saving up my money. At this rate though I may be able to hit the trail in the next 10 years, but I am getting my gear as I have the money. And no I am not trying to use lack of funds or my family's disapproval as an excuse no to do this. While lack of funds is a real hurdle I need to jump, I want my family to at least support me emotionally on the trail. I have a good family life, but they just can't see me as anything but a failure to launch case. This is part of the reason I want to thru hike, to prove to myself I can do something and take care of myself.

Then just do it and earn their support versus begging for it. If you actually do it, and complete it, it will earn your family's respect, just because you did something hard and stuck to it, which is what they think you won't do. Best way to shut a negative mouth is to fill it with your success. Prove them wrong and accept that they have good reason to doubt you. Give them good reason to believe in you. BUT first... you have to believe in yourself. Your a grown man. Act like one. You need no one's permission to do anything that is legal.

[Traffic Jam]

Because I love them, and don't want them to be afraid for me.

Every family worries about their loved ones. Hike a lot and come back alive. Seriously, that's the best validation for your family that you're competent enough to be alone in the wilderness.
.

[Sarcasm the elf]

People's fear of hiking is not rational, so addressing it by rational means is probably not going to work. If it were that easy you would only have to point out that the death rate from all causes for AT Hikers each year is very low (impossible to get a firm number, but it is close to zero). In all of the AT states, there have been only 7 people killed by bears in the last 115 years (I believe that none were AT hikers). But in Alabama alone there there are more than 800 fatalities by automobile each year (particularly relevant for a delivery driver). Nation wide about 30 people are killed each year by falling furniture. More than that are accidentally shot by toddlers with a gun. By removing yourself from cars, furniture, and toddlers, your chance of accidental death drops significantly while hiking. Unfortunately most people suck at doing rational cost-benefit analyses. Your best bet is to take the advice offered above and just ignore what other people think (see Malto's #1).

Toddlers don't kill people with guns, that would be too quick and humane for their liking. They kill you slowly through stress, sleep deprivation and panic. Trust me...

[gracebowen]

Cedar,

Myself personlay im planning a hike too.

Wal-Mart has a pack for $65.
Im gonna make an Apex climashiels blanket for less than $100 and use a cheap blue tarp for shelter.

Oh I know ill get some flack over a walmart bag but ive read lots of journals where people paid for kelty and such bags. They didnt like them or they broke and they got new packs anyway.

My AT hike is gonna be one and done for a multimonth hike.

I understand the family thing too. Just tell them you love them but youre gonna go.

When you need new clothes try to buy non cotton so one you get used to wearing it and 2 you already have it. Thrift stores are great for clothes.

When food is on sale buy it and stock up. Try to get into the main mindset of if its not on sale I dont need it.

You may have to adjust your eating habits some but it will be worth it.

I support a family of 4 on 2400 a month and 1/3 of that pays the mortgage. Another 1/3 goes to fixed expenses.

Maybe not but I bet if you tried and looked you could find ways to cut back.

For additional income could you mow lawns or clean houses.

Even with no mower maybe you could use their mower. I have a mower and many times ive paid simeone to use it to mow my yard.

If there's a will theres a way. My thru hike will be on a budget but im used to that. A budget hike can still be a good and sucessful hike.

For everyone whos gonna say it anyways at any rate I will have a very nice section hike.

[saltysack]

Cedar,

Myself personlay im planning a hike too.

Wal-Mart has a pack for $65.
Im gonna make an Apex climashiels blanket for less than $100 and use a cheap blue tarp for shelter.

Oh I know ill get some flack over a walmart bag but ive read lots of journals where people paid for kelty and such bags. They didnt like them or they broke and they got new packs anyway.

My AT hike is gonna be one and done for a multimonth hike.

I understand the family thing too. Just tell them you love them but youre gonna go.

When you need new clothes try to buy non cotton so one you get used to wearing it and 2 you already have it. Thrift stores are great for clothes.

When food is on sale buy it and stock up. Try to get into the main mindset of if its not on sale I dont need it.

You may have to adjust your eating habits some but it will be worth it.

I support a family of 4 on 2400 a month and 1/3 of that pays the mortgage. Another 1/3 goes to fixed expenses.

Maybe not but I bet if you tried and looked you could find ways to cut back.

For additional income could you mow lawns or clean houses.

Even with no mower maybe you could use their mower. I have a mower and many times ive paid simeone to use it to mow my yard.

If there's a will theres a way. My thru hike will be on a budget but im used to that. A budget hike can still be a good and sucessful hike.

For everyone whos gonna say it anyways at any rate I will have a very nice section hike.

Nothing wrong with being frugal...keep an eye out for quality used gear rather than something that's not proven or comfortable...Wally world pack.....


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[swisscross]

I feel much sympathy for folks trying to make ends meet opposed to ones sucking the teat of our goverment.
If JJ is truely the only job you can find, good on you.
I am glad you canceled the GFM account. I see very little good from this type of begging.

Do your best, save as much as possible and hike as long as you can.

[Odd Man Out]

Toddlers don't kill people with guns, that would be too quick and humane for their liking. They kill you slowly through stress, sleep deprivation and panic. Trust me...

Yet another good reason to go hiking. ;-)