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  1. #41
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    Great video, burger. Oddly apropos!

  2. #42
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    Don't drive him anywhere. Give him this. http://genius.com/Eminem-lose-yourself-lyrics

    This is reality coming around. "Snap, back to reality…there goes gravity…."

    Choice - step up or go home.

    'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,
    Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
    But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
    And just pull that shart out of you and get that motivation to not give up
    And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.


    Yo left, yo left, yo left right left
    Yo left, yo left, yo left right left
    Yo left, yo left, yo left right left
    Yo left, yo left, yo left right left

  3. #43
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    I guess they can't revoke your soul for tryin'
    Get out of the door and light out and look all around.

  4. #44
    Registered User dudeijuststarted's Avatar
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    OP if he wants to give me his gear, his budget, and wouldn't mind covering some bills, I'll finish up for him.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by CamelMan View Post

    I don't see the point of continuing something that takes a lot of time and money just to avoid calling yourself a "quitter".
    Agreed. When I got into Maine I started running into lots of other thrus who would have been better off quitting a long time ago but were just too stubborn to do so. Talking every chance they get about how awful hiking is and they can't wait to get home and never do this again etc.. No way to live when you're paying for every day out there.

    I agree that if he said don't pick me up no matter what he should be held to it and find his way home. But three days holed up in a hotel room isn't sounding good. I am confused about him starting two weeks ago, moving 11-15 MPD and not meeting anyone?? Seems like at that pace he ought to still be in the tail end of the bubble.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzy Q View Post
    Will probably boost him up the trail to the bubble?
    Stop that. Don't do that. He made the bed, let him lay in it. HYOH< but I see jumping forward to play the buddy system anticlimactic and unrewarding. Besides - Devils advocate - he gets up to Vermont, gets sick and has to chill for a week, you gunna run up there to catch him back up to buddies? lol Don't bounce him up the trail, mail him a puppy lol

  7. #47
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    I wish we could hike with him!
    Unfortunately schedules and health do not permit it.
    Great idea in theory!

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzy Q View Post
    I wish we could hike with him!
    Unfortunately schedules and health do not permit it.
    Great idea in theory!
    Even if he leaves the trail now, he has already done something so wonderful. He's no quitter, but perhaps he just needs to set it aside for a bit before returning in some future time. Congratulations to him for what he's done so far - and for having self-realization.

  9. #49

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    The fact that he said "do not get me if I call you, do not let me quit!", indicates that he had serious reservations about the hike before he started.

  10. #50

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    Not sure about the finding people to hike with issue. On any given day I hike faster then some and slower then others. Never really stayed with a group more than about 2 weeks so far. Maybe the question he needs to ask himself every morning for a while is "can I hike today" and not worry about finishing. I'm sure I was ill prepared when I started. I am not a hiker and have lived my whole life on the beach. I decided to hike the AT for a number of reasons, none very strong. I am at mile 850+ just taking a few days off. I started like most people, worried about covering miles every day and was not enjoying much of anything. I shifted gears and decided I will just hike as far as I feel like it. I may finish it, or may not. I don't see where it makes that much difference. The AT seems to be morphing into something it was not intended to be. It was meant to get away from stress and commune with nature. From what I have seen over the past two months of hiking, many just want to get through it as quickly as possible and stress over every day's milage. I almost got caught up in the same mindset, and I am old enough to know better.

  11. #51
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    Unfortunately spending time at a hotel won't get him caught up to the bubble. I was going to say he should keep hiking while many other hikers take a number of days off for Trail Days and maybe he would start catching up to people.

  12. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzy Q View Post
    "Well prepared" means planning, studying, saving for a year to go on this hike.
    His favorite place to be is in the forest... any time off from work he had, he would take a pack full of weights and head to the mountains!
    He also did a prehike of 40 miles close to home, as a test hike a month before he left.
    New gear, yes! And well worn boots!
    He was prepared physically, financially, and we thought mentally...
    Will probably boost him up the trail to the bubble?
    That is not well prepared. 40 miles is not enough to enough to determine whether you would like a long distance hike. He is no different than than hoarders of other unprepared hikers who, as LW said, find reality doesn't always match the postcard. Also, one of the hardest parts of long distance hiking is being able to tolerate yourself. Those that don't like their own company will really struggle. But I am frankly stunned at not being able to find a group to hike with. He is starting a bit behind but doing about average mileage.

  13. #53
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    Hello Suzy - please forgive the presumptions inherent in my post. If you read anything that helps, that's great and if not, the last thing I would want to do is cause any more hurt.

    I am getting the very strong feeling from your post that the hiker in question is either your son, or a step-son, or someone in that position to you. This is such a hard thing! You want to support and love and care for him, but you also want to do the right thing - and you're having such a hard time figuring out what that might be.

    I will share with you a bit of insight that I have gained, not from dealing with a thru-hiker son, but a son that has grieved my heart pretty sorely for some time now. That is, as parents we are programmed to hurt when our kids hurt. We feel it is "our job" to fix things, to "make it all better," to save them some of the same pain and heart-ache that has come our way.

    We want to save our children pain because - it hurts to look at them in pain and we want to save ourselves that pain, too. But, in saving someone from pain, you are also depriving him of the chance to grow. One thing that I try and remember every day is that everyone deserves the opportunity to work things out for him or herself. Yes, that will have pain associated with it and it will be extremely tough to look at it sometimes. And of course, we aren't cruel or uncaring about it, and we don't make things unnecessarily difficult. But we also permit our loved ones to experience the consequences of their decisions.

    My heart aches for you because I can imagine having exactly the same thoughts and feelings as you, in this or a similar situation. I can completely understand the impulse to drive up there and try to make it better for him, help him work it out. But, perhaps consider that, if you do that at this particular juncture, you may also be depriving him of a significant opportunity to experience personal growth. Well, FWIW!

    Jane in CT

  14. #54

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    it sounds like the reality is not consistent with his conception of what long distance hiking really is.

    if he's done, he's done, but I would say essentially, "you made your bed, now lay in it. you don't want to finish that's your choice but now you need to find your own way home, we're not enabling you"...

    if he has actually saved enough financially, a bus ticket is nothing. tell him to put on his big-boy panties and get going, up the trail or on the road...

  15. #55
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    "Maybe quitting will cause regret, and regret will create a burning desire. But if the desire can't be found, the desire can't be found. Maybe this is just not the time. I hope this person can find the self-direction and inner drive to do what they really want to do, whether it's to stay or to quit, rather than listening to the people around them…"

    Ohh, BS. Don't contribute as a codependent to someone else's limiting emerging habits.

    "I don't see the point of continuing something that takes a lot of time and money just to avoid calling yourself a "quitter"."

    It's more than that. It involves more than regret or what you call yourself. Beliefs and behavior leading to habits intertwine to create character or lack thereof. "Excellence(excellence of character) is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." Aristotle

    Quote Originally Posted by gpburdelljr View Post
    The fact that he said "do not get me if I call you, do not let me quit!", indicates that he had serious reservations about the hike before he started.
    Possibly more accurate he had reservations about his habits, his mental strength. This AT thru-hiker wannabe situation sounds similar to one teaching another to walk, ride a bike, not touch the hot stove, etc. Don't baby him. Guide. Inspire. A true ally a true friend a true loved one acting in love is one who will not always agree with you letting you take the easy way out. A true ally may seem harsh but wants to see you be your best and will inspire you to that attainment. NEVER make the decision to quit in a limited ungrateful unappreciative lacking joy mindset. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING GRATEFUL, APPRECIATIVE, RELAXED, AND JOYFUL AFTER THE DECISION TO QUIT IS MADE! Expanding appreciation and gratitude possibly finding a way to get more light hearted, to laugh, will be good medicine to his soul. There is often a longer period of negative limiting ungrateful unappreciative problem enlarging thought patterns leading up to quitting. Let him fight through breaking this pattern. The trail can be one of the most ideal environments for changing limiting thoughts, character, and belief systems!

    “A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.”

    “A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.”

    “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”

    “Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

    William Arthur Ward

  16. #56
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    F'n A, dude, I was thinking the same thing! But we gotta get this kid out of his head and back on the trail.

    Quote Originally Posted by dudeijuststarted View Post
    OP if he wants to give me his gear, his budget, and wouldn't mind covering some bills, I'll finish up for him.
    Hiking is the best teacher, it grades on a curve.
    AT miles: 255.5 / Total miles: 905.27

    Author of "Hiking Into Trail Days"



  17. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dogwood View Post
    "Excellence (excellence of character) is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." Aristotle
    I do believe that is the first time I've ever seen Aristotle quoted in relation to thru-hiking. But it fits. I love it.
    Hiking is the best teacher, it grades on a curve.
    AT miles: 255.5 / Total miles: 905.27

    Author of "Hiking Into Trail Days"



  18. #58
    Registered User Hoofit's Avatar
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    Does he have any good gear to sell cheap?

  19. #59
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    Preferably before he changes his mind!

  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzy Q View Post
    ...Any advice?!
    You could negotiate a pick-up locale 100 miles down the trail and several days into the future. Give your family member relief that their hike can be over soon but, require that they get back on the trail temporarily?

    Good Luck

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