your a real hiker when

[Tipi Walter]

You're a real hiker when the Super Bowl is coming but you plan a long backpacking trip the day before. It's a choice between television and being a couch potato---or hiking. ALWAYS and irrevocably be out hiking. Remember this time honored mantra---

If you're indoors you're a failure. If you're outside you're a success.

[rocketsocks]

Where the hell is that like button

[Cadenza]

I don't normally care much about watching overpaid prima donna thugs, regardless of what kind of ball they use.
This year it just happens that I hate both teams equally.
I have a doctor appointment on Friday and plan to head back to Citico on Saturday. By the time I get back to civilization it will be old news.
It won't matter to me if I never learn the results of the game.

[Halloween]

The 5 second dropped food rule doesn't apply anywhere.

You can smell approaching people's laundry detergent on their clothes long before you pass on the trail.

[Cadenza]

....upon coming out of the woods you stop at your first restaurant and don't even bother to inspect your coffee cup for floating insect carcasses.
(and if you were to find one there you wouldn't pay any attention to it.)

[shelb]

Strok'in it means getting your cook stove going

[Feral Bill]

Your riding on the bus, and you check out each tree for food hang potential.

[tiptoe]

Your riding on the bus, and you check out each tree for food hang potential.

Yes, or hammock-hanging potential.

[SwissGuy]

You know you're a hiker when you carry an extra pair of socks and some footpowder to work, in an air conditioned office.

[July]

You know that you are a hiker when you can smell the "fresh, soapy scents" of town folk way before they can smell your hiker aroma.

[atraildreamer]

I'll be on the forums for a while, I may be a real hiker, but I'm also a new parent...

So...you never heard of a baby carrier pack?

Congratulations!

[Sarcasm the elf]

So...you never heard of a baby carrier pack?

Congratulations!

Using an Ergo front pack right now.

[L8Hiker]

You know your a real hiker after completing your first poop in the woods!

[illabelle]

You know your a real hiker after completing your first poop in the woods!

Followed by your first post on WhiteBlaze?

[Tipi Walter]

You know your a real hiker after completing your first poop in the woods!

You're a real hiker after completing your 4th book on pooping in the woods and studying in detail Man's bout with his angry Turds.

In fact, on my last trip I had a near struggle to the death with a mean and angry Turtlehead and . . . . well . . . here's the journal entry---

January 15 2015 Day 16

8F DEGREE TURD PACKET
Unfortunately just after eating oatmeal and being warm and satisfied a terrorist turtlehead wanted out in the worst way but a pot of tea was coming to a boil and it was dark and cold outside. I waited and felt impending splash down. Once the tea boiled I turned off the stove and grabbed 2 paper towels and unzipped the fly door and ran out to dig a hole. Before completing the head of the irritable stool poked out necessitating a quick strip down, squat and release. What came out had a human face and spoke clearly in Latin:

"Offal protestium exflange urgentsium fecallia. Ecce Effluvium." Translation: "This turd protests being held back by a sphincter skin-flap (flange?) and must come out. Behold the Turd."


It sat on the ground and wanted to be hand-carried to my next several campsites and wanted to stay with me but it could not be carried as it was more a melted ice cream pancake batter mix with no real hand-holds and so we talked and it was slowly buried as it cried. It's been my only companion on a long lonely trip and I now feel bad and miss Young William. Long gestation but a quick goodbye---the story of a man and his turd. I left the best part of me on the banks of the South Fork.

[Sarcasm the elf]

When you are posting updates to WB from inside a shelter in 5* weather.

[Bags4266]

When you give your hiking boots blisters

[rocketsocks]

You're a real hiker after completing your 4th book on pooping in the woods and studying in detail Man's bout with his angry Turds.

In fact, on my last trip I had a near struggle to the death with a mean and angry Turtlehead and . . . . well . . . here's the journal entry---

January 15 2015 Day 16

8F DEGREE TURD PACKET
Unfortunately just after eating oatmeal and being warm and satisfied a terrorist turtlehead wanted out in the worst way but a pot of tea was coming to a boil and it was dark and cold outside. I waited and felt impending splash down. Once the tea boiled I turned off the stove and grabbed 2 paper towels and unzipped the fly door and ran out to dig a hole. Before completing the head of the irritable stool poked out necessitating a quick strip down, squat and release. What came out had a human face and spoke clearly in Latin:

"Offal protestium exflange urgentsium fecallia. Ecce Effluvium." Translation: "This turd protests being held back by a sphincter skin-flap (flange?) and must come out. Behold the Turd."


It sat on the ground and wanted to be hand-carried to my next several campsites and wanted to stay with me but it could not be carried as it was more a melted ice cream pancake batter mix with no real hand-holds and so we talked and it was slowly buried as it cried. It's been my only companion on a long lonely trip and I now feel bad and miss Young William. Long gestation but a quick goodbye---the story of a man and his turd. I left the best part of me on the banks of the South Fork.

This...always this

[Huckleberry]

when you can recite the lines to "Southbounders"

[2015 Lady Thru-Hiker]

Yeah, this! And you spend on average $600/month, that's 7-grand a year on gear and other outdoor supplies....

Feeling wholly inadequate That's it, call off the thru-hike!!