Moral Support

[CaityJ]

Does anyone else struggle with support from family membersand friends in regards to planning and other AT goals? It seems I keep running into thisconversation/ disagreement with my family. The individuals that were once my biggest supporters are now the onesthat doubt my success the most. I don'tlet this affect my drive towards my goals, but there are times that it gives medoubts.....

[Caddywhompus]

You'll get that. For most people they can't even conceive of doing something so great. The best I ever get is a weird look. The worst borderlines on offensive. Just remember the little dogs always bark from the porch as the big dogs walk by.

[Matthikes]

Sort of. I am only a section hiker and my wife just doesn't understand. She thinks it is stupid but she lets me do it. I think she is coming around a bit and is willing to do some day hikes with me. Maybe you could take them hiking somewhere local to you and see if it changes their perspective a bit. Be respectful to them but don't let them stop you from doing something you have dreamed of. I missed my chance to do a thru hike when I was younger so I bide my time doing section hikes until I retire or win the lotto.

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[CaityJ]

You'll get that. For most people they can't even conceive of doing something so great. The best I ever get is a weird look. The worst borderlines on offensive. Just remember the little dogs always bark from the porch as the big dogs walk by.

My mom was surprisingly supportive in the beginning andstated that it was a great idea without skipping a beat. Now she seems uninterested when I’m excitedopening my gear packages and talking about my plans. She has always been my fall back person andnow she seems disassociated when it comes to the next 18 months. My sister is becoming my rock whilecontaining her doubts.
I agree that these plans are a dream to most people! Theywere to me until i realized what a vital point in my life I have and how Ishould take it for all its worth! You’re only in your 20's, no kids, no majorbills, and no baggage once!

[Old Hiker]

Wife doesn't want me to try again because she had to step up and do things in the house. Even the offer of letting her have a reciprocal dream really doesn't help. Still, she's resigned to another attempt in 2016. Bills are being paid forward, VISA will be paid off, money saved up.

Oh, well. Part of being married.

Rest of my family was/is supportive: Dad did a scrapbook of my attempt in 2012, brother helped with medical problems with his doctor friends, uncle in Maine was ready to celebrate my Katahdin climb with a fresh-caught lobster feast.

[myakka_]

I already leave for 18 day deployments in the mountains in season at work. My wife is NOT interested in me taking off to do the AT too. I think my best chance to do this and keep peace in the home is to wait a few years and do it as a thru right after I retire.

I have a friend who is having some medical issues, and he needs some time to get ready but this is also the number one thing on his bucket list, and we have talked about doing it together, so I am thinking waiting is the best win all the way around.

[ALLEGHENY]

How dependent are you on your family?
Are they paying for it?
What do you mean by support?

[CaityJ]

Sort of. I am only a section hiker and my wife just doesn't understand. She thinks it is stupid but she lets me do it. I think she is coming around a bit and is willing to do some day hikes with me. Maybe you could take them hiking somewhere local to you and see if it changes their perspective a bit. Be respectful to them but don't let them stop you from doing something you have dreamed of. I missed my chance to do a thru hike when I was younger so I bide my time doing section hikes until I retire or win the lotto.

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If I didn't have the option to go off the grid for 6 monthsI too would section hike. I canunderstand having responsibilities back home. I have saved $10,000 for my hike and bills back home ($3000 for 6months). It is a feeling of doubt andextreme worry that I get from them that off sets me. I got into an argument with one of my cousinsbecause he stated that I was going to be picked off the trail, horrible thingswere going to happen to me, and I would never be heard from again. I don’t believe these things, but I am not naive. I currently work in law enforcement! I knowwhat people are capable of doing!

[Starchild]

My experience is I need to normally take want my family says as pointers as to what is holding me back - instead of advice to follow. They say things to stop me from progressing and to 'hold on to the me they molded' instead of wishing me to break out of that mold and become my own person. It seems comforting for them to have me in a form they wanted and uncomfortable with me changing, but by doins so I will never become the me I am and was meant to be. So their discouragement is helpful as it showed me what not to do (or to continue doing) and is now encouragement for me as I desire to progress.

[CaityJ]

How dependent are you on your family?
Are they paying for it?
What do you mean by support?

I'm not dependent on my family foranything. I have been living on my ownsince I turned 18. They are not payingfor any portion of my hike. I have saved$10,000 so far to quit my job in a year and hike. All my bills back home ($3000) will be paidfor beforehand. What I mean by supportis they are not supportive of my hike. They tell me almost weekly to stop planning, that I'm not going to doit, or that I'm wasting my money. I willnot give up on this dream, but in the meantime it dampens my spirits.

[WingedMonkey]

18-24 months is a long time for other family members to have to listen to your "dreams".

Do your planning and let them know what they are closed to a real departure date.

[WingedMonkey]

18-24 months is a long time for other family members to have to listen to your "dreams".

Do your planning and let them know what they are closed to a real departure date.

closer to a real departure date.

[CaityJ]

Wife doesn't want me to try again because she had to step up and do things in the house. Even the offer of letting her have a reciprocal dream really doesn't help. Still, she's resigned to another attempt in 2016. Bills are being paid forward, VISA will be paid off, money saved up.

Oh, well. Part of being married.

Rest of my family was/is supportive: Dad did a scrapbook of my attempt in 2012, brother helped with medical problems with his doctor friends, uncle in Maine was ready to celebrate my Katahdin climb with a fresh-caught lobster feast.

I can see how her struggles on the home front could be very overwhelming, but I'm happy you are still dreaming of another go at it! I keep hopping that in the end my mom will do something like what your dad did for you. It may not be much, but it shows interest and care. I'm going to try to talk my sister into summiting Katahdin with me. She is my rock!

[ALLEGHENY]

I would keep planning and get out and hike.

[CaityJ]

18-24 months is a long time for other family members to have to listen to your "dreams".

Do your planning and let them know what they are closed to a real departure date.

lol I understand your point, but that is how I've alwaysbeen. I am a grand plan kind of personand I share my aspirations. When Istated 18 months I was including approx. 6 months for my hike

[wookinpanub]

My dad was vehemently against it and told me I would last 3 weeks, tops. My mom agreed to mail my maildrops and I think she realized how serious I was when she saw the amount of preparation and forethought I had put into it, with 18 prepacked boxes and an exact mail schedule. In the end, they were both very proud of the accomplishment and met me at the end (Springer) to hike with me from USFS 42. When I ordered my map set from the ATC, it came with books giving detailed descriptions of the trail and surrounding areas. I left the books at home and they learned to use them to follow my progress and read about what I was seeing. I also provided them with a wall map of the entire AT and they marked my location each time I called home. Their "buy-in" grew as I progressed down the trail and by the end they were excited about it. The first month was tough, though.

[RockDoc]

"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead" if it's something you really want to do.

[Hot Flash]

My mom was surprisingly supportive in the beginning andstated that it was a great idea without skipping a beat. Now she seems uninterested when I’m excitedopening my gear packages and talking about my plans. She has always been my fall back person andnow she seems disassociated when it comes to the next 18 months.

How much have you talked about it, and for how long a period of time? She's probably heard it all from you many times, and is simply bored to death with it by now.

[CaityJ]

My dad was vehemently against it and told me I would last 3 weeks, tops. My mom agreed to mail my maildrops and I think she realized how serious I was when she saw the amount of preparation and forethought I had put into it, with 18 prepacked boxes and an exact mail schedule. In the end, they were both very proud of the accomplishment and met me at the end (Springer) to hike with me from USFS 42. When I ordered my map set from the ATC, it came with books giving detailed descriptions of the trail and surrounding areas. I left the books at home and they learned to use them to follow my progress and read about what I was seeing. I also provided them with a wall map of the entire AT and they marked my location each time I called home. Their "buy-in" grew as I progressed down the trail and by the end they were excited about it. The first month was tough, though.

This is an amazing story and gives me hope that my family will be just as proud of me. I think I will do something similar for my family! Thank you for the idea!

[CaityJ]

How much have you talked about it, and for how long a period of time? She's probably heard it all from you many times, and is simply bored to death with it by now.

I've been planning since last July. She probably is bored, but she shouldnt be stating that she isn't supportive of me or that I'm going to fail.