Going gently into that good hike.

[Rift Zone]

Sorry if posting here offends any of you ladies but I need some advice from competent outdoors women such as yourselves.

My girlfriend and I are looking at thru-hiking together but there is a HUGE difference in our outdoor experience. She is barely a car-camper where as I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I am quite a gear geek so I am fully aware of the differences and benefits of gender-specific gear. I have no worries about gear... I have no worries about "pink blazers" as she is spoken for... I have, thx to your posts, lots of good info to share dealing with that time of the month ( that topic don't scare me none, I just want to empower her as much as possible so that she can make informed choices)... What I do have is a woman that has no idea of what she is in for. To make matters worse, I'm not really certain if she wants to thru-hike. She seems to love the idea but I'm not sure if that mosly comes from wanting to spend time with me or spending time on the trail. I have already shared a bit about the hardships involved and she remains undaunted so I worry less and less about her desire to be on the trail. I am more interested in how I might make her transision into long distance hiking easier on her. Any suggestions, thoughts or feelings on the matter? I would be grateful for any constructive input. Thx!

[take-a-knee]

If your girlfriend is a hardbody athlete, learning to camp will be easy if she has some one to teach her. If she isn't fit then she needs to get that way, step mill, running, kettlebells, weights...it all works, if you do it. The Army's Special Forces school has reams of statistics to prove a direct positive correlation between fitness and completion of Special Forces Assesment and Selection (SFAS). SFAS ain't a thru hike, but it ain't five months long either.

What if she decides to bail on the third day? You gonna put her on a bus and keep going up the trail? The two of you will need five grand minimum to make this hike.

Pasteur said that "Chance favors the prepared mind" (and body I would add).

[greentick]

...Special Forces Assesment and Selection (SFAS). ...

What?!?! I thought SFAS meant Sore Feet And Shoulders...

[Rift Zone]

She is not exactly a "hard-bodied athlete" but she is in good shape and fairly active. I have no doubts of her physical ability to hike. -Especially if I carry the bulk of our load while she adapts.

What if she decides to bail on the third day?

As you can imagine, that is the kind of scenario I'm trying to avoid. I will have to discuss it with her... Let her know that I would continue on without her if it came to that. Before you judge me too harshly for that, you should know that the AT is only a small part of a much larger adventure I'm doing. I'll start hiking in Key West. That is, once I get there via kayak from Montana. I'm on the Mississippi River now. The first part of the journey was a 1500 mile bike trip up the Pacific Coast.

Joining me on the trail was her idea but I did change up the plan a bit. Rather than have her meet me wherever I was when she was free, I'm gonna slow up my pace a bit and we'll thru with the 09 class. I felt if she does take to long distance hiking, there would be no way she could do a portion of the trail without needing to go back for the rest of it. Makes life easier that way.

[dixicritter]

I'm not a long distance hiker, but I am female so I figured I could at least give you your first post from that perspective on this thread since you did ask for our advice.

It sounds to me like she's in the game already, be thankful for that. She may not fully understand what the game is yet, but that's ok too. Have you thought about getting her out there on some section hikes prior to this thru hike? I mean all the excellent advice I have read over the years on this site from former thru hikers has been to try it first before you jump head first into the full thing. Get the gear sorted out and stuff like that. Sure you've got experience but wouldn't it be nice to allow her to get some before hand too?

Anyway, Hope it all works out well for you both.

[Jan LiteShoe]

I guess you will each have to sort out your goals, and play the "what if" game - and that's not a bad thing.

Here's the main hardship I've observed when the two genders (or parents with kids) hike together, and there are many exceptions. But consider:

You may well be the stronger hiker. As far as pace goes, if you're wanting to have this AT experience together (and I can highly recommend it), a general rule of thumb for enjoyment is that the slowest hiker sets the pace. Will that drive you crazy? That applies to introducing children to the trail as well. Nothing will kill the joy and budding long-distance fever more than having to struggle with burning lungs and legs after an easy-striding, disappearing back. Just some thoughts for you to consider.

My least pleasant times on the AT were hiking outside my pace, for one reason or another (meeting friends, running to make the PO before closing, meeting a shuttle, etc). Negativity began to intrude on my thoughts that wasn't there normally. As I got stronger, I thought I would get faster. What I learned was that my ENDURANCE improved, not my speed. I will be forever a 2 MPH hiker. I can go all day at that pace. Kick it up for a short while and I can deal with it, but not for long or without a cost in mind and foot meat.

Once your gal has gotten into the trail rhythms and made friends, if your pace is the stronger as I suspect it might be, you could discuss hiking together for a portion of the day, then having you walk on (if the slower pace is making you chafe - you might actually enjoy the leisure and watching her discover LD) and meeting up at an agreed landmark ahead. The main thing is for her to be honest about her comfort levels with this. It sounds as if she's going to be with YOU, rather than the trail. Is this so? If she hasn't been hooked into the AT experience before you go striding off, I can see potential problems. Once the dream is HERS as well, her motivation to complete will carry her forward. But if she never gets to that place, a question to explore is "will that be okay" with the both of you?

I can sure see why you'd want to share this amazing experience you are having with her. I hope it works out for you both. Just be crystal clear about your goals, and she of hers, and work out loving options.

Have fun! It could be an awesome time.

[Jan LiteShoe]

Oh, and a general pre-agreement that might help.
Never decide to quit and then just go ahead quit. Agree in advance that when the desire to quit strikes, you guys will gut it out for one more week - and then see if the quitting desire is still there. Very often, it has passed.

Baqe sure to throw some leisure time into that week's mix, a day at a waterfall, socializing or some town time. Things often look entirely different with some passgae of time, esp. on the AT, where yesterday seems like a week ago.

And if she finds LD hiking not for her, you know, that's okay too. She sounds supportive of your wandering ways, and that's not all that common.

[peanuts]

oh, and have her join this hiking forum so she can read and research all the hiking information for herself!

[Spirit Walker]

I know it's late in the year, but can you take her out on some preliminary backpacking trips before you head to Springer? Take advantage of any really nice weekends to get some experience before you leave.

Also, do as much hiking (dayhiking) as you can before you leave. The best way to get yourself ready for the trail is to hike.

One thing - you'll be surprised how little the gear matters when you're out there. It's what's in the head and the heart that will take you to Katahdin - not what's on your back. If she develops the Will to make it, you will.

[Lilred]

I would strongly recommend taking her out for short sections at first, then work up to longer section hikes, if that's an option for you. It sounds like you may not be home before you start the AT???? from your kayak trip to starting your hike in Key West will you have any down time before she joins you? If so, take her on section hikes. If not, perhaps she can hook up with someone near where you live to go on section hikes. Take her to the AT for those sections so she knows exactly what she'll be getting into.

[Blissful]

Ditto on takng her out backpacking ahead of time. There is no way to get ready for a long distance hike except to do it, though. At least if she goes out for a few days, she can get her feet wet, so to speak, and decide whether it's for her or not.
And be sure to check on her gear also. The gear she brings can make a lot of difference. Try to lighten it up.

[Marta]

I haven't had to deal with this issue personally...but for couples or closely-linked pairs (like Blissful and PB), do you discuss ahead of time whether it's going to be "both or neither," or whether one can drop off while the other goes on?

Most couples I've met seem to opt for Plan A. I did once run into a NOBO whose husband had just gotten off for health reasons, while she was continuing. That was south of Damascus, though, and I don't know how far she ended up going.

[Rift Zone]

It sounds as if she's going to be with YOU, rather than the trail. Is this so?

It may be, at least for now. She certainly has a since of adventure, I think that's part of her attraction to me. But that dynamic is one of the reasons why I posted here, in hopes of discovering ways to nurture that spirit and to set it into her mind that she will be hiking HER hike, not mine... -Though we will do so together.

It sounds to me like she's in the game already, be thankful for that.

I am thankful.. Very much so.

Doing section hikes on the AT is not practical. We both are from Nor-Cal. But the PCT is rather close and there are plenty of trails out here to mess with. The winter before we set out I will be free and back here... I will be certain to "get her feet wet" then. Unfortunately, there wont be much chance to spend time together outdoors before then.

I am already accepting of having her set the pace. Na, it wont drive me crazy. I'm used to taking out lesser experenced groups into challenging territories and I know from experience that I am one of the strongest hikers of any group. I have long since been satisfied with hiking at a leasurely pace when called for.

Spirit Walker, you are quite right about determination. That is one reason I'm making slight efforts to freak her out with stories of trail hardships. I feel if she is aware of some of the pain involved and still down for hiking, her determination will grow even more once she finds the sheer joys of hiking out for herself.

Blissful, I dont worry about her gear none... That is my area of expertise. I have, to my satisfaction, worked out the perfect balance between pack weight and camp comfort / amenities. Some might have more in-camp luxuries... Some may have a lighter pack... Few can match my overall comfort. I will be outfitting her. She is in good hands.

Oh and thx Jan for the tip about committing to an extra week after one is ready to call it quits. That sounds like an excellent idea.

Marta, that topic really hasn't been breached yet but for reasons described in another post, I would have to continue on. At this point, her commitment to the trail is not clear... Not certain what would happen if I was forced off the trail.

[dixicritter]

I don't think it really matters which trail you use to get her familiar with hiking actually. I've actually not been hiking that much on the AT myself, more so on the BMT. My point was to get her out there doing it PRIOR to jumping off head long into a thru hike, that's all.

Sounds to me like you and she need to discuss the "what if's" too. Otherwise, it seems like you've got it mostly covered.

Like someone else suggested, you might see if she'd like to join here or at least lurk and do some reading on her own. She might want to ask some questions of her own that you aren't thinking of. Ya never know.

[Rift Zone]

I couldn't agree more Dixicritter, Unfortunately, with the way things are, we wont have a chance to get out on any trails till the fall prior to our setting out. Hopefully by then all the "what ifs" are sorted out and we can focus on whether living out of a tent for a while is to her liking. I will urge her to take a look around here. I too see the benefit of her doing her own research.

[sarbar]

Blissful, I dont worry about her gear none... That is my area of expertise. I have, to my satisfaction, worked out the perfect balance between pack weight and camp comfort / amenities. Some might have more in-camp luxuries... Some may have a lighter pack... Few can match my overall comfort. I will be outfitting her. She is in good hands.

You might want to try out your system on her a number of times before you go...just remember-your level of satisfaction is not someone elses level of satisfaction Everyone is different.

But anyways, you have plenty of time to work it out!

[cocoa]

Monkey and I finished our AT thru-hike about a month and a half ago.

Neither of us were very experienced backpackers, but we had done a lot of day hiking together.

If you ever saw Monkey on the trail, you know he walks fast. He is not a tall guy, but somehow has a really big stride, without looking like he's in a hurry. I can definitely not keep up with him. Hiking pace was probably among the top five things that caused tension. What we ended up doing was having me lead in places where it was important to stay together for safety, but otherwise he walked and I caught up to him eventually - we would break every couple of hours. I also needed more time at the beginning before I got in shape. By about halfway through the trip, my pace and stamina had increased significantly.

We made a pact before the trip that if one of us got hurt or wanted to quit, the other one would go on. Luckily, we did not face this situation, although we both went through phases where we wanted to quit. I agree that it's best to give yourself a couple of days before getting off the trail for good.

The other thing we argued about was money. There are a LOT of places to spend it along the AT. I would say 5,000 is the absolute minimum for two people, and we definitely spent more. You should make a budget by region or week. Remember that it is much cheaper in the south than in New England, so save your $$.

We shared all our meals, and we each had different things that we got sick of. For me, it was dehydrated hummus. It makes me want to puke. For him, it was instant oatmeal. But he still wanted to eat hummus, and I still wanted instant oatmeal, but we had to find other options that we agreed upon, just to make the resupply easier.

I said that hiking pace was on the top five list, but I can really only think of 3 things. Mostly hiking is fun and pretty relaxing. Not too many reasons to fight.

I want to emphasize that the benefits of hiking together are numerous. We had so many great experiences together that we are closer and more in love than ever before. As we resettle into "regular" life, we can support each other, since we both know what the other one is going through. And we can plot our next adventure together!

[warraghiyagey]

Now that's a great trail story. Thanks Cocoa.

[Rain Man]

... I am more interested in how I might make her transision into long distance hiking easier on her. Any suggestions, thoughts or feelings on the matter? I would be grateful for any constructive input. Thx!

I have hiked a few AT sections with my wife, so I will speak up.

Let me recommend a book by Mic Lowther, called "Walking North." It's about a family of three hiking the AT together. It really brings out the difference perspectives of the male goal-destination-driven attitude and that of the mother and daughter, who were there for the journey, not the destination. And in the end they were able to balance things out nicely.

One thing I read once was this-- "do you sing a song to see how fast you can get to the end?" I like that insight.

I also especially agree with the advice not to leave the trail the day you decide to quit, but hike another week first.

Best to both of you.

RainMan

.

[Maple]

This week I was invited to hike the AT with a very dear friend, but he is attuned to the out-of-doors and in very good physical condition with a lot of stamina. Whether we are day hiking or riding bikes, he is always way ahead of me.

Three things he suggested to me was 1) start walking every day and see if I can walk fifteen miles in a day. Then, 2) see if I can do the hike with about forty pounds of weight on my back.
And 3) Read all the posts here on WhiteBlaze and other sources of information. He just gave me a book to read about it.

I have done quite a few day hikes but never with weight on my back. I think his suggestions would be good for any newbie. This way, they know first hand if they think they can do it.
I tried 30 pounds of weight on my back and was surprised at just how heavy it was.